What are some people whose lives have surpassed kinos?

If admiral nelson didn't obliterate the french fleet back in the egypt expedition and if he didn't win trafalgar napoleon would've surpassed the english.

Augustus

Bullshit, they were wood.

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I want to fuck his son badly

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Just a paper passer what's so interesting about that?Atleast post pyrrhus or even cliche figures like ceaser.

Whats wrong with the pasta people?
To be fair his son being both a bonaparte and a hasburg is pretty powerful

He didn't burn Berlin to the ground

Kys Dab Forums nigger.

The continental blockade and not listening to Talleyrand.

Meme emperor

I don't know why it's so uncommon knowledge, but both Napoleon and Hitler invaded Russia in June. It was just a matter of not being able to gain a decisive enough victory quick enough.

joan of arc

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she died at the stake for a good reason user.

yeah because the Brits are fucking sore losers and were uncomfortable with the fact they lost to a teenage girl sent by God.

Anglo butthurt isn't a good reason.

Errol Flynn

Emancipated them.

Admittedly June is already quite late for a ground invasion, especially in the 19th century. They should have gone in May.

And the tsar scorched earth tactics don't forget that

He never learned

In the case of Napoleon, you may be right, I don't know enough about the invasion. In Hitler's case, they were held back by the spring rains, and the operations in Yugoslavia and Greece.

War monger and tried to invade Gods land (Great Britain)

>teeths
What shade of shitskin are you friend?

I watched the 1927 silent film Napoleon because of a thread like this one and it was kino of the highest order. They could only do a small part of his life in 5 and a half hours.

director planned to do his whole life.. but we can't have nice things

That's impossible

Being a Mason

June was the earliest possible time Napoleon could invade Russia. The spring thaw and rains turned every shitty cart track that passed for a road in 1812 Russia into rivers of mud, they weren't passable until June. And even then he still lost thousands of supply wagons to the poor roads. Two thirds of his army had deserted or starved to death by the time he fought the Russians at Borodino. The winter was just the finishing blow on what little he had left afterwards.

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Your "sacred land" became a hotspot for kikery

Incorrect.

Letting France fall into financial debt for jews.

Based, Jeannette is in Paradise with God.
Corruption in the french aristocracy and bongs being mad as hell?

Lol gay, I pick Teddy Roosevelt

Julius Caeser

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Being too based, despite being a cuck.

He lost

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The Miracle of Empel

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it's a reference of the movie

What about that new one that armond white said was good that I haven't seen Dab Forums talk about at all for some reason?

There was no Tsar in WW2 retard

Might be an unconventional choice but Bill Drummond's life (of KLF fame) is way more kino than any other rockstar biopic. I still don't know why there isn't a movie about the KLF.

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Can’t say that the ending was that glorious though, if he had died on the river expedition that would have been classic tragedy

Jeanne, the sequel of Jeannette the Childhood of Joan of Arc. Both by Bruno Dumont, you should see them, they are great.

made the british seethe

Christopher Lee. He had a more interesting life than most action heroes do.

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He was still a very influential political figure and a best selling author for the last 5 years of his life, its one of the more boring periods of his life but its not like he was sitting on his ass.

I'll grant you he didn't have a kino death like Julius Caesar but he still lived about 5 lives worth of greatness.

Napoleon while being a great military leader had all the flaws of a totalitarian ruler. He thought he knew better than everyone, didn't listen to his advisors while surrounding himself with bootlickers and yes men who wouldn't dare to oppose him. He also had tendency to hold grudges and dismiss good advice or military plan just because it came from someone who he personally disliked.

Then he fucked up and invaded Russia. Lost majority of his talented officers and cavalry to attrition and never managed to raise his grand arme again, all while his opponents were learning from their previous mistakes.

more like god forsaken land

Yeah, she made the britons seethe

Anglo hands typed this post.

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>schizophrenic cheerleader

I teared up when I saw the interview he gave with some students where he talked about how Saruman was still a good man during The Hobbit
he didn't get to play Gandalf, and you could tell he was excited and proud to play a good, honorable character in that movie, when he had previously played a nasty villain in the other LOTR films
RIP

George is boring even in comparison to Lafayette

Went for Moscow instead of St. Petersburg

Marcus Aurelius

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[Headcanon]

kek

>Responsible for the most deaths in WW2
>overshadowed by a retard that killed himself.

I would give her my anglo stake if you know what I mean.

To this day, anglos are still seething.
Mention Maradona too and they practically will have an aneurysm.

Otto Skorzeny.
His wikipedia page has like 10 blockbuster movies in it

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frederick_Townsend_Ward

There needs to be a good Taipeng movie in general.

Maurice Wilson
Ferdinand Ossendowski

he even has a redeeming arc
"55 Days at Peking" is pretty good

oh wait, that's about a different Chinese rebelion
but go watch it anyway

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What they all do wrong, bet against the eternal anglo. Eventually the anglo will prevail

he invaded in summer, got fucked by dysentery, got fucked by russians that refused to give up the fight, then finally, got fucked by winter. by then, he had lost most of his army anyway

Just don't get captured lol

William Walker
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Walker_(filibuster)

Seriously has anyone who actually thinks Joan was a badass actually read about her at all? She was literally an insane teenager, who some retards desperate for good news used her as a cheerleader “from god”. It’s like if you let out a schitzo from the mental ward and let her larp like she was leading an army while the actual army and commanders do the battles. Then everyone pretends she’s a hero because...she a woman I guess? It’s so strange. It’s a really interesting and wild story for sure, but a hero? Lmao, the state of women if that’s all they have

Anglos still fucking mad

Crazy people can be heroes.

>A master duellist with swords, knives, pistols and shotguns.
headstuff.org/culture/history/jose-pepe-llulla-the-gravedigging-duellist/

KHAN

He didn't have a proper plan after the liberation (as most ideologists don't) so he just became a monarchist tyrant that was tossed away. That's what I hate about ideologists, they always have something to hate but nothing to build over it and it's still like that today.

just dreamed too big really, wanting to control all of Europe is going to turn everyone against you inevitably

>retreats in your path
agghhh save me France!

Using tin for canning food supplies for the Russian front.
>It has two main allotropes: at room temperature, the stable allotrope is β-tin, a silvery-white, malleable metal, but at low temperatures, it transforms into the less dense grey α-tin, which has the diamond cubic structure. Metallic tin does not easily oxidize in air.
THought that may have been an arctic expedition, can't remember

He put his two feets in the biggest nope of the XIX century, Spain and Russia.

what are you talking about?

Not him, but i guess he was talking about lead poisoning from canned food. Which was common during the XIX century.

Yeah that's what I think he meant too but even that is a bit of a myth, it's thought crewmen of the Terror were poisoned by lead in tinned food because they found high levels of lead in their remains but it's actually unlikely, the amount of lead in the tinned food wasn't high enough to cause issues. They either got lead poisoning from the steam engine that was used to power the boat's then state of the art propellers, with the mean drinking the water used to cool it down, or they didn't have lead poisoning at all the the lead found in their remains was just a steady accumulation over time

Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba

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>he even has a redeeming arc
No. He became a bitch ass faggot

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tin_pest

did you not even bother to read your own source
>The story is often told of Napoleon's men freezing in the bitter Russian Winter, their clothes falling apart as tin pest ate the buttons. This appears to be an urban legend, as there is no evidence of any failing buttons, and thus they cannot have been a contributing factor in the failure of the invasion.[5] Uniform buttons of that era were generally bone for enlisted, and brass for officers.[6] Critics of the theory point out that any tin that might have been used would have been quite impure, and thus more tolerant of low temperatures. Laboratory tests of the time required for unalloyed tin to develop significant tin pest damage at lowered temperatures is about 18 months, which is more than twice the length of the invasion.[4] Nevertheless, some of the regiments in the campaign did have tin buttons and the temperature reached sufficiently low values (below −40 °C or °F).[5] In the event, none of the many survivors' tales mention problems with buttons and it has been suggested that the legend is an amalgamation of a case of disintegrating Russian tin buttons in an army warehouse in the 1860s[7] and the desperate state of Napoleon's army, having turned soldiers into ragged beggars.

He becomes a millionaire and funds neo fascist movements in Spain?

'All men are born equal.'

They said as they no mention of the slaves a lot of them owned, despite the fact that abolition of slavery was already in discussion in Britain. Resulting in an almost nation destroying civil war less than 100 years later.

Do Americans really? or were the founding fathers a bunch of hypocritical traitors?

nah some caught jungle fever, pay a nickel for some prime abyssinian pussy

The thousand year butthurt.

Yep, it's hilarious how many people waifu this glorified cheerleader in what was essentially a French dynastic squabble.
They really seethe at anglos that much...

Must be embarrasing to have your trained judges be beaten by a cheerleader.

He worked for Mossad

The greatest of all time
>but muh Phillip
cope

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There isn't a single person in the history of mankind that has lived a more kino life than Julius Caesar.

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That Greek needs a good movie.

This is the only true answer

The fact her figure still create this much anger is proof she had quite the impact.
Angl*s BTFO.

Mithridates the Kino

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/thread

He had slob fetish and liked the smell of unwashed pusy. He used to write to Josephine before returning to her 'Don't bathe'.

based

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I didn't think Napoleon could get any more based. I was wrong

This and the Spanish War

wtf i want to side with Napoleon now (t. prussian)

Brian Blessed, possibly the most interesting man currently alive

Probably French

>currently alive
What do you know?

Nothing

Mad man drank small amounts of poison to become immune to it

Literally and Unironically who?

>2021
>he still hasn't read Kotkin on Stalin
Embarrassing.

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I wouldn't call Napoleon an ideologist, more of an opportunist.

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>A chivalrous man of boastful and flamboyant character, Miloradovich was a poor fit for the governorship. Vladimir Nabokov called him "a gallant soldier, bon vivant and a somewhat bizarre administrator";[5] Alexander Herzen wrote that he was "one of those military men who occupied the most senior positions in civilian life with not the slightest idea about public affairs".[6]

> His reputation as a daring battlefield commander (referred to as "the Russian Murat" and "the Russian Bayard"[2]) rivalled that of his bitter personal enemy Pyotr Bagration, but Miloradovich also had a reputation for being lucky. He boasted that he had fought fifty battles but had never been wounded nor even scratched by the enemy.[3]

>TContemporaries[89] condemned him for a desire "to create his own harem in the theatre school"[90] that allegedly became a reality with the aid of Shakhovskoy and Maikov. According to these sources, Miloradovich "had a weakness for women" and regularly spent evenings in the company of Shakhovskoy and female trainees of his theatre school; the chosen favorites then enjoyed the general's benevolence after graduation.[89][90] Catherine Shuler noted that the appetites of Miloradovich and other dignitaries could be the cause of high "traffic in women" on stage and that "the resemblance between serf actresses and imperial actresses is surely not coincidental".[90]

>Alexandra Kolosova, in 1822, was the first actress to break the ring and flee to Paris;[87] upon return to Saint Petersburg she sought protection from Alexander, but Miloradovich had her arrested for twenty-four hours for turning down "the most insignificant role" offered to her.[91] Miloradovich had lead actor Vasily Karatygin arrested for similar insubordination; when the prisoner's mother pleaded for mercy, Miloradovich responded: "I only like comedy onstage. I've seen blood, madam, tears don't move me".[92]

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Best thing they did was burn the million quid

he was a pretty boring military man who was a good writer. what exactly in his life surpassed kino, he sat in the trench with rats for 4 years and avoided being shelled by mere luck.

Cast him.

Name a person who managed to cause more butthurt.

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Goose

I've titfucked 17 different girls and there is nothing more kino than titfucking, so you could say my life is pretty fucking based.

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>t. hasn't read any of his autobiographies

I just wanted to recommend this, what a masterful biography. I find Hitler downright uninteresting compared to Stalin.

is this supposed to be an in-joke they theses people are aware she was a meaningless cheerleader,but its funny to intentionally be ignorant and act as if she did anything just to piss people off or am i retarded??? Please i am retarded, Someone Tell me, DID I READ WOR?NG

rawdog anal is better

>fucking like a faggot does
literally nothing gayer than anal user, you're a closet faggot, I'm guessing a single mother raised you

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Failed to deploy Imperial Guard time after time after time after time after time until that one time when it was too late.

Personal top 10:

1. Alexander
2. Napoleon
3. Stalin
4. Byron
5. Hitler
6. Tesla
7. Churchill
8. Dostoevsky
9. Hannibal
10. Casanova

Whatever you say, anglo. She was a cheerleader and Pele was better than Maradona. Now go drink your tea and relax for a bit

Yeah, wilson should have let him go to fight the great war like he always wanted

can anyone tell me what nationaluty napolean was?
'course-i-can
the old ones are the best

not making a pact with Toussaint Louverture

>But Hernan you can't conquer an entire continent with 1,000 men!
>haha cannon goes boom

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Was it he from Italy?

why don't you fucinkg google it he was from corsica otherwise the joke dont work

Im sorry user, have a snicker you aren’t you when you’re hungry

new

thats the terror u talkin bout

couldn't into navy

why so?
I want a real explanation user
and I want it now!

Harsh peace and continental system

It's gonna suck when he finally dies. How old is he now anyway?

Tell me now!
REEEEEEEEEEEEE
All too true
The Tsar would have been murdered by his nobles had he continued to refuse trade with Britain

>all while his opponents were learning from their previous mistakes
It's funny that Napoleon basically taught his enemies how to beat him

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Thats pretty kino, but I prefer small boobs. Also footjob > titjob

Did you not read the above paragraph above the arctic expedition?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=33IfVoKx9BM here's a video if you can't read. Sorry for not pertaining specifically to the Napoleonic wars.

Seriously. What the fuck were they thinking? Was it literally just "eh it's not going to affect us fuck it,"??

Napoleon never intended to go in to Russia. He wanted a decisive fight near the border but it ended up being close call after close call (idiot relatives) and he was close so he kept going further in. Meanwhile Russia didn’t want him to go in but kept retreating out of hope for a better place to make a stand.

It was just fate. He should have just stayed in Vilna and fortified

That sounds really cool though.

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Can you not follow reply chains?

He didn't have Berthier for the sequel

which is?

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Nigga didn't do shit until he was in his 50s.

You do realize that portraits were painted pretty just because artists wanted more sheckels and didn't want to offend their rich patrons? All those pretty and fabulous rich noble people from portraits were probably fug, toothless and stinky irl, not to mention all the stds, pox scars and that most of them were manlets and womynlets by today's standards. A modern NEET incel would seem like an Uebermensch next to them just because he's been well fed and had proper medical and dental care from birth.

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he actually didn't start any of the Napoleonic wars and was just made a scapegoat
t. German

he lost

Keeping the southern slave states happy was the key to winning the war of independence against Britain. Everything between the declaration in independence and the civil war is basically cynical politics.

America's real founding in during reconstruction.

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Plenty of good choices itt, here's one unlikely go get mentioned but also deserving, Rick Rescorla.
>born in UK
>volunteer at the age of 16
>become a paratrooper
>fight in Cyprus
>fight in Rhodesia
>see some nasty stuff in there, become anti-communist
>move to US
>enlist
>fight in Vietnam
>competent officer, adored by those serving with him
>take part in the battle of Ia Drang
>during the darkest hours of the second part of the battle he was seen in the trenches cheering the soldiers on and breaking into songs from his homeland, such as "Men of Harlech"
>in his book (the first half of which was later made into We Were Soldiers) Hal Moore mentions that he was the best platoon leader he's seen in two wars
>it also mentions that at the time of printing ('80s) he was retired and working as a security chief at WTC
>work on tightening the security, warn his superiors about the possibility of an attack from the air, among other things
>force the employees to practice evacuations
>9/11 happens
>he's in the south tower
>north tower is hit
>PA announcements tell people to stay put
>he forces them to gtfo
>south tower is hit
>he keeps directing the evacuation
>last seen going up the stairs saying he's not leaving until everyone is out

It's like something deliberately written for a historical film starring Tom Hanks, he even sort of looks the part. There's even a light romance subplot for the less-tense part between the wars and 9/11.
In my case I'd read about the selfless security chief saving lives during the attack first, then read the book and in the afterword there was the mention of Rick working in WTC, which is when the realization hit. Of course a guy like that would go out like a champ instead of succumbing to cancer he had.

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her life gave way to one of the greatest cinema kinos though

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until he got stabbed multiple times

Seething atheist

Napoleon was hardly an idealist faggot

Dude was a certified legit badass.

KLF. What?? Fuck off zoomer.

Admiral William Pellew.

Ascends boat kino.

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That's a very kino way to die.

quick wiki rundown seems like a deluded "artist" not kino

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Teddys oldest daughter looks like she would straight up cut a bitch. No questions asked.

>Tito
Incredibly underrated and overlooked on global stage. Probably because he played both the US and USSR like a fiddle while doing his own Non-Aligned Movement getting in the way of the Cold War. Not to mention Yugoslavia falling apart after his death.

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niggers aren’t human, they should have included that in the constitution

He was Churchill's pawn. Capable, but pawn.

he got kidnapped by pirates when he was a youth, befriended them and even told them to make his ransom higher because he was offended how low it was. once he was freed he had them all crucified, that was pretty cool.

anglos still seething to this very day

georgian kino

for me it's leon degrelle

Ernest Hemingway

His life reads like a surreal acid trip.

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The dude who plays Ney in Waterloo looks just like him

Had a girl do me a footjob, it sucked

What is the appeal of this guy other than him being a good military commander(debatable). People like to pretend he was a nobody, but he was born to a fairly influential family.
Spent his life larping as a liberator of men but basically implemented the absolute monarchies of the bourbon empire before him. Literally backstabbed the spanish for no good reason, and worst of all completely and utterly failed militarily the only time it mattered, thereby ensuring a century of unchallenged anglo dominance in 90 percent of the globe, because he beat every other power that could potentially stand up to the anglos to a a pulp.

>if France won every battle they would have beaten the English
What a stupid thing to write

assumed his enemies weren't retarded snobs

>ZOGbot faggot gets killed by the ZOG in 9/11
Beautiful

>sees something redundant
>posts something redundant in return

he was the hitler of the early 19th century, aside from being genocidal
he also tried to mess with the greatest and oldest alliance, and got btfo because of it

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Attacked Russia. Never attack Russia. No one literally succeeded. And the ones who did, got fucked up real hard later, if not by Russians, but by other forces.

Out of everyone in history who is the biggest Mary Sue or Shonen protagonist?

Too each their own, imo boob jobs suck

Augustus, he literally starts as an autistic teenager who unexpectedly inherits a fortune from Caesar-senpai

user...
have a seat