Not Hufflepuff. Not Hufflepuff. Not Hufflepuff

>this house is for the good guys and heroes
>this house is for the nerds (but we can’t put Hermione there because I need for to be with my main characters)
>this house is for all the bad kids, which always account for roughly 25% of the student body
>and this house is where we put...uh...everyone else? The NPCs I guess? Gryffindor Lite?

Bravo, Rowling

Voldemort's soul was in him and he got confused

Voldemort's horcrux was inside him.

Thats why you get a seat in the back and snog your crush the whole time

>>this house is for the nerds (but we can’t put Hermione there because I need for to be with my main characters)
Hermione is not a revenclaw but she is just a NPC bookworm

>it's come to my attention your first action as a student of hogwarts was taking the lot of candy from everyone else on the hogwarts express. a selfish act indeed. SLYYYYTHERINN

>Why did the hat want to put him in slytherin?
It probably would have been the best for him. He was allowed to skate through the curriculum on his legacy in Gryffindor. Snape would have made a proper wizard of him. Wouldn't have ended up the wizard equivalent of a crossing guard that way.

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why was Luna on ravenclaw

le smart kids who are not evil go to ravenclaw

Luna was particularly smart

Being a retarded conspiracy theorist is very intelligent according to JK

>Luna
>smart
she was the resident retard schizo

Hermione is a literal definition of ravenclaw

Ron told him all bad witches and wizards were in Slytherin two minutes earlier

wasn't* I mean

I remember the book at least she got the "which came the first, the egg or the chicken" right

Smarter than hermione

was she tho? she was completely against receiving knowledge of an unorthodox source like the prince's book

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In the books for the train scene, she basically told Harry and Ron that 'Gryffindor sounds like the best house but Ravenclaw would be nice too I guess'. So it probably just came down to preference, like for Harry.

Hermione not being in ravenclaw was one of the dumbest asspulls in the series. You had the hat shouting slytherin before it even touched certain students' heads, would it not do the same with hermione and ravenclaw?
Also ron should have been a hufflepuff for shits

first world private schools have graduation ceremonies at the end of the year.

Nerd

>polarizing your students by only putting them in groups made of similiar personalities
do they actually enjoy civil wars? pretty sure malfoy wouldn't have hated mudbloods if he could have snuggled with hermione in the commons room.

>3rd world private schools don't have this

Luna's father is effectively the Alex Jones and Ben Garrison of the Wizarding World

They dont? Are you quoting someone? If i say apples are juicy does that imply that pears are not? lol

People undermining Luna was so fucking stupid
>Teacher teaches kids about fairies that like to play pranks on people
>UOH SO INTERESTING!

>Luna talks about pixies who like to make people sick/confused
>OH NONONONON HAHAHA LUNA YOU FUCKING RETARD ITS IMPOSSIBLE FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO EXIST
Dragons, soul sucking monsters, banshees, werewolves, crossbreeding between humans and giants, invisible capes with so much more to discover, all exist in this world. But Luna is considered a schizo for believing in electic pixies and invisible horses?

It's a magic school. In 1927 Julius Evola cast a protective charm against marxism, forcing students to minmax their talents together rather than become a melting pot of mudbloods. During the seige the spell was broken, the effects of which are seen when all the students are sitting at different tables heedless of house.

typical npc asnwer, go to hufflepuff or griffyndor

Cedric was boring. Now if he had the personality and basedness of Patinson, that would have been great

No, because there is no gradient of value upon which an apple is objectively superior to a pear. Are you retarded?

Actually you just proved that you are a retard. Again, were you quoting someone?

Ravenclaw values individuality and wit, which perfectly represents Luna

That's how smart people are treated in real life. They spout random facts no one cares about then they get called a faggot nerd. Then they bitch online for the rest of the world to call them faggots.

gg ez don't @ me

ravenclaws rise up

based retard lol

Can confirm, my brother is smart and I've cslled him a faggot

>redditclaw

>In 1927 Julius Evola cast a protective charm against marxism

If JK Rowling did this, Harry Potter would be redeemed. She probably doesn't even know who he is though, despite all her other references to real world magicians.

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you know, I did the stupid pottermore test and I got placed in revenclaw, I thought it was bullshit and I should be in hufflepuff but after this thread I guess it is right but it reminded me time when i was having dinner with my family and I told them turtles have their shoulders inside their ribs and they all told me to shut up

Why do all HP fans think they would be sorted into Ravenclaw?

Hermione was a bookworm and was very knowledgeable, but she valued friendship and bravery the most. She literally says it in the first movie before the climax. In the same way how Peter Pettigrew was a Gryffindor even if he himself was not brave. He valued those traits.

was Lovecraft a wizard who tried to warn the muggles?

Autism, unironically

Hufflepuff or Gryffindor are the reddit houses

most of the ones I know wanted slytherin

because ravenclaw is I Am Very Smart the House

which house had the sluts?

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are most of your friends fujos?

I've done the test almost 10 times and I've always gotten Ravenclaw the most and only twice Gryffindor. Also i got Horned Serpent in the Illvermorny quiz, which is basically American Ravenclaw

Real life boring, magic world cool.
Everyone would do the same as Hermione and try to learn as much as they can.
Or have sex with magical creatures

gryffindor is full of stacies unironically

Redditclaw is for midwits
Dumbledore and Hermione prove fhe house of genius is gryffindor

>he doesn't know
someone post the chart

now ive grown up and become much wiser, ive come to realise being a student at hogwarts must be fucking terrible

>Dividing your students into houses
Why do anglo-based schooling do this? I remember going to a public school in Australia and they had this.

the test told me so :>

Hufflepuff, Rowling said they used to have group masturbation sessions.

Reddit has already ranked the houses, it goes:
>Raveclaw
>slytherin
>Gryffindor
>Hufflepuff

>Cunning, ambitious, certain disregard for the rules
>Plus he was a Horcrux.

You ever heard of a draft? It's exciting to see what your team gets

The hat is never wrong.
-t. the Hat

>Of Harry Potter’s contemporaries, Hermione Granger and Neville Longbottom came closest to being Hatstalls. The Sorting Hat spent nearly four minutes trying to decide whether it should place Hermione in Ravenclaw or Gryffindor. In Neville’s case, the Hat was determined to place him in Gryffindor: Neville, intimidated by that house’s reputation for bravery, requested a placing in Hufflepuff. Their silent wrangling resulted in triumph for the Hat.

>The only true Hatstalls known personally to Harry Potter were Minerva McGonagall and Peter Pettigrew. The former caused the hat to agonise for five and a half minutes as to whether Minerva ought to go to Ravenclaw or Gryffindor; the latter was placed in Gryffindor after a long deliberation between that house and Slytherin. The Sorting Hat, which is infamously stubborn, still refuses to accept that its decision in the case of the latter may have been erroneous, citing the manner in which Pettigrew died as (dubious) evidence.

which test

Slytherin is a ruthless house aimed at achievements, Potter turned out to be pretty talented in several aspects, it's a good fit. It's just retarded that Slytherin is the designated "evil" house because in real life you don't really have good and evil.

based

I only have this one. There was also one with discord results, though there wasn't any difference.

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In real life you don't have magic either

>that year the sorting hat stopped putting all the minorities and mud bloods in hufflepuff

What happened? Did the ministry get involved?

>white people are boring
Where have I heard that before?
By the way, Radcliffe’s mother is Jewish and his father is a Protestant. I knew there was something odd about his nose. He wasn't a real English person.

>those flags
fucking reddit

That's peak Modern Anglo though

Hahaha, yeah. I was reading the books as they were being released and I turned 11 around the time the 3rd on came out. I was so sad I didn’t get a letter.
Now thinking about going to such a dangerous and insane school seems retarded. Hogwarts seems to be run by fucking psychopaths.

the only two good slytherins are Hornslug and Snape, and the latter Dumbledore wondered if he would not have been better to put in Gryffindor

What the fuck are you on about? Do you people hear yourselves?

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Because Gryffindor is too “mainstream”. Slytherin is evil, so no one wants that. Hufflepuff has a dumb name and feels like an afterthought, with no real defining characteristics. Ravenclaw’s defining characteristic is just “being smart”. So obviously most fans choose that. It makes them feel like they are special and smart.

Even if they're just a bunch of randos and you know fuck all about them? Can't see how it would be, dumbass.

All house traits are so vague they are practically astrology and you could find some arguments for most characters fitting in most or even all houses.

You could make strong arguments for Hermione fitting in all houses except Slyterin, and that's only because she has non-magic parents.

Ministry plant

Snape revered slytherin before the sorting, and would have been sorted right after James. Not a chance in hell he was going to share a dorm with that nigger

>Everyone picks the nerd house
>The majority who picked nerd house also picked the adventurer house for ilvermony

>modern anglo
Again, he's not anglo. He's whatever abomination his mother was.

Luna had the highest lore stat out of all Harry's peers, correctly judged every situation, and had excellent insight into every problem presented to her. She was treated as a crank but was right about everything.

>Segregation based on competence and intelligence
What did Rowling mean by this?

you can do a house test to see in which house you land

Also malfoy was a cunt

>breaking: normies treat intelligent people like retards

>couple hundred

The books state numerous times that there is usually only 5 boys and 5 girls in each house. Obviously that is retarded but that's the way she wrote it.

Sounds pretty Anglo to me, it's not 1976 anymore

>Hermione was a bookworm and was very knowledgeable, but she valued friendship and bravery the most. She literally says it in the first movie before the climax. In the same way how Peter Pettigrew was a Gryffindor even if he himself was not brave. He valued those traits.

If it’s based on what you value, Luna Lovegood should have been in Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. She clearly cares enough about doing the right thing that she’ll make it her entire focus and risk her life for it. The only way we’re shown her value in knowledge or truth-seeking is her obviously misguided crackpot theories, which is only played for laughs anyway.

Slytherin house also has Andromeda Tonka, Regulus Black and Leta Lestrange

Girls want to identify with the "smartest" house so they deliberately choose the answers that'll get them into Ravenclaw.

If they did it properly they'd more likely end up in Slytherin or Hufflepuff.

Wasnt Harry pretty mediocre except for Defense against the dark arts?

didn't harry only have like five or six other dudes in his year and house?

She meant that hufflepuff was the m*ggle house
May as well snap your wand and join grade 6

Gotta ensure that there is no chance to escape tribalism.

They're all fresh off the boat. Hardly anyone knows who they are aside from older siblings attending the school. The only person anyone remotely cares to see sorted is Harry.

>Leta Lestrange
Literally who?

Because it's based and gives you an apprenticeship in hatred before you encounter your first non-white

>it's not 1976 anymore
Are you retarded?
>it's the current year
Shut the fuck up.

>and the latter Dumbledore wondered if he would not have been better to put in Gryffindor
So he pretty much admitted Slytherin is where all the future criminals go

wizardingworld.com/features/why-luna-lovegood-was-a-true-ravenclaw

>tfw asked it properly
>tfw hoping for a chadhouse like hufflepuff or gryffindor
>landed in the nerd house with a midget as headmaster

even in fictional world I don't get what I want

I went to "Harry Potter Day" at my university and someone got visibly upset when I said I'd probably get put in slytherin. He told me that only "nazis want to be Slytherin."

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Luna had the courage to stand on her own. She carried her convictions without wavering and endured bullying without complaint. This was a case of 9 INT vs 8 END, Hermione was 8 END vs 7 INT.

Bellatrix's great grand aunt and Newt Scamander's best friend at Hogwarts

What house would he end up in.

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Shut up

I thought the point was that if you knew where you wanted to go, the hat would sort you there, but if you were an indecisive bitch the hat would sort you where it thinks you should go?

e.g. Neville Longbottom deserved to be in hufflepuff, but he wanted to be a gryffindor so he got sorted there.

regulus was an ex-death eater

yeah, also rowling fucked up with the people that represent the houses.
>No one wants Gryffindor because it's the protagonist house
>People either Love or hate Slytherin because it's the evil "Contrarian" house.
>Hufflepuff, just like in the books and movies is forgotten

DatDA was the only one Harry excelled at. He was a little above average in everything else, besides History of Magic ("lol history is so boring!" - JK) and Occlumency, the latter mainly due to Snape being more interested in tormenting Harry than actually teaching him.

Who defied Voldemort and literally said fuck you to his face by replacing his locket

He was generally pretty good at everything going by his year 5 test scores. He even did well at potions despite having an absolutely dogshit teacher

why was snape tormenting harry during their private lessons again, was it just a master plot to kill sirius?

House Greggs

Hermione needs to feel superior at all times. Being among actual intellectuals would have wrecked her.

Peter Pettifuljew Joined Gryffindor to be with his friends
Sirius chose Gryffindor to spite his family

It's subtle but if you look for it throughout the series there are hints that snape dislikes harry

>love me hufflepuff
>love me hagger
>love me buttebeer
>noffing against slytherin's just don like 'em

Because he's a bitter incel

He just really fucking hated him. Harry is supposed to be the spitting image of his chad father who bullied Snape.

Rowling intentionally made Hufflepuff the house for losers. It's stated multiple times that they always come in last place for both the house cup and quidditch, and Cedric being chosen for the games was a big deal for their house because "Hufflepuff rarely received any glory"

Hufflepuff is the comfy House, I would've loved to have been sorted into it.

He wanted to see the memories of Harry masturbating

He was a colossal prick

I know but shouldn't he fucking do his job, kinda odd all the shit in the 7th book when he did an absolute ass of a job teaching him occlumency

This is why I dropped out of university and only post on shit boards

Hagger is a gryffinchad though

I cannot think or comprehend of a human being more cucked than Severus Snape. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are a poor bumbling Slytherin kid who gets bullied by Gryffindors, and the sole comfort of your life is a girl who turns around and gets ravaged by your chad bully. All the hard work you put into your life at Hogwarts- late night studying in the restricted section, making up your own spells, finding easier ways to brew potions, becoming a death eater, getting your entire clothes accio'd by the Gryffindors during your wizard duel finals, and cuddling with Lily Evans. All of it has one simple result: you're more useful to your dream girl's son when you become his professor some 15 years later.

Met the perfect girl? Great. Who benefits? If you're Severus, it's the man who made your life miserable every single day at Hogwarts, who had nothing but the fortune of being in the same house as her. He gets to fuck her tight pussy every night, and you get to see their son every day for 7 years, staring into HER eyes on HIS smug-ass face. The child gets the benefits of her kind and sweet personality while everyone ignores how much of an asshole his father was because his son was "the chosen one."

As Severus Snape, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise the son of the girl who never loved you back and the bully who cucked you. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL KEK. Think about it logically.

Could Snape enter the pensieve and smell Lily?

Do you think if Harry was a girl, Snape would have groomed and raped her?

Are you a nigger trying to eat corn on the cob?

yeah but he exactly the kinda o person a norf fc person would befriend

>HP Reddit
>BLM flag
lmao

I don't think you understand. Snape probably stole potter's hair, used it to make polyjuice potion and then degraded himself sexually while in harry's form.

haha

Because Rowling enjoys teasing the audience with potentially intriguing ideas before taking them away.

god now that I think about it couldn't people just steal hermione's hair, make polyjuice potion and get a gigantic stash of hermione porn out this?

>A couple hundred kids lining up and spending a couple minutes talking to the hat
New intake seems to be like 10-20 kids max each year.

Quite possible, he would probably have a lot of alone time with her in detention

>RavenQlaw students vandalize 5G towers for spreading anti-magic radiation

No idea. I would definitely go to Hufflepuff.

>now that I think about it
That's just the tip of the iceberg too. I can see why snape became potions master when felix felicis and love potions exist, let alone polyjuice.

God now I remember that greentext where he turned into Lily and James fucked him.

Potter is talented but lazy. Slytherin would make him become great. Though he'd probably just become the next Voldermort in that house.

>literally said fuck you to his face by replacing his locket
Leaving a note, that voldermort never even saw, in a locket left in a cave on the coast isn't what I would call saying something to his face

slytherin wasn't the designated evil house, we just see antagonists from it. arguably the most evil person in the series was a gryffindor

the play where his son goes to Slytherin was shit though

>slytherin wasn't the designated evil house
nigga literally ONLY Slughorn stayed in for the war, every single slythering fucked off immediatly

she was mentioned to be hermione level of smart though

It was a different time

user, if every Slytherin child was eaten by giant cats every single problem in the series would have been resolved.

Umbridge would have been slytherin faster than malfoy bud

It was still defying him, which is a big thing especially for someone who was so loyal to the Black family unlike Sirius. Also Narcissa is an honorable mention, she lied to Voldemort because of her son

>Gryffindoor: The main character and friends
>Slytherin: The bullies
>Ravenclaw:
>Hufflepuff:
10/10 writing

Which house do Deanos belong in?

They were sent away by McGonagall after some Slytherin student wanted to turn Harry in after Voldemort made his demands.

>Ravenclaw:
Fanfic OC self inserts.

>Hufflepuff:
The rest.

Harry roasts every Slytherin he sees with unpleasant characteristics

That was actually pretty brilliant on Rowling’s part, assuming it was on purpose. People IRL are just like that.
NPCs who are totally incapable of conceiving of anything that they weren’t taught to believe. It’s tragic, really. Even in a world where magic literally exists, many are still so close-minded.

It was shit, but the idea was based. Harry's son going to Slytherin and being friends with Draco's son and going on adventures with him is pure kino

It's like how climate change is real but all the retards on this site will treat you like a onions boy for talking about it.

She tried to 1v1 a troll as a first year. That's prime gryffindor

>slytherin wasn't the designated evil house
it was. All the death eater families forced their children to be in Slytherin.
The black house and the Malfoy mansion were full of snake and Slytherin imagery because they are devout to Salazar slytherin.
Crabbe and goyle are retards who join slytherin purely because of their parents

RAVENCLAW PLS
RAVENCLAW PLS
RAVENCLAW PLS
RAVENCLAW PLS
RAVENCLAW PLS

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Nobody but the teachers had that level, hermione was rowling's savant character casting 7th year spells easily in 5th year and wrecking shit on her OWLs. Luna was open-minded, but that just lead to her father keeping a giant bomb on display in his house

>Hufflepuff
>That bloke what dies in that one book innit

There were bullies in all houses. James and Sirius were massive bullies and they were from Gryffindor. All of Luna's housemates bullied her. Pretty much the entirety of Hufflepuff was being an ass to Harry when he got chosen by the Goblet.

>is literally named after a wizard who promoted genocide and hid a killer snake underneath the school

hufflepuff can't be the braindead house because New and was from there he was basically the Charles Darwin of wizard world

Forgetting someone, user?

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>Book fans want to go to book house
Gee I wonder

>shits on malfoy's mom
>internally describes pansy parkinson as "pug faced"
>shits on crabbe and goyle
>shits on snape
>shits on millicent bullstrode, adrian pucey and marcus flint
Slytherin wasn't the house of looks ok

Yeah, but Harry married Ginny so he isn't in a position to judge women

Cringe OC from shitty non canon mobile garbage

book ginny is supposed to be beautiful

like real life society, those that know the truth are treated as outcasts

Why does everyone bully Bonnie Wright? She isn't the prettiest, but she's not as horrendous as people claim

as someone who ignored every thread about that mobile shit, can I get a qrd

>All of Luna's housemates bullied her. Pretty much the entirety of Hufflepuff was being an ass to Harry
And none of them were distinguished characters

Book Ginny is still a coal burner
She's cute because she's a bit of a naughty slut, but she isn't drop dead gorgeous either

That doesn't make a difference. Everyone in her house bullied her, and they were from Ravenclaw so that proves they also can be bullies

She's pretty average looking, but she can't act. Producers basically had to hope she grew up to have some charisma, but she didn't.
>Wright's elder brother had read the first two books in the series and informed her that she reminded him of Ginny Weasley. Wright did not have any prior professional experience aside from school plays, and asked her mother if she could audition "on a whim".[4] She gained a screen test for David Heyman after her pictures were sent to the film's casting directors, and her parents were told she got the role shortly after.[4]

>Slytherin wasn't the house of looks ok
exactly, snakes have no drip

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Then I imagine Harry would have inherited his mother's looks and his father's eyes. Snape would have forced her to wear sunglasses.

>Implying he wouldn't look deep into her eyes and hate fuck her out of jealousy

HOWEVER

It's not that she can't act, it's the script writer and director making every scene with Ginny as awkward as possible. And that too with her already little screentime. I'm sure she'd be able to act decently if she were actually given the opportunity

inorganic spam protected by a nonce from brooklyn

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>Let's put all of the Hitler-in-the-making Slytherin kids together so they can discuss their world domination plans. What could possibly go wrong?

>game has a Slytherin bully girl
>she acts like a fucking dweeb most of the time and is strangely endearing
>she's super insecure and angry because her parents got thrown in azkaban and she never gets to see them
>people meme her until she becomes dateable
>gets manipulated by one of the villains which makes her seem even more sympathetic
>newer update has her betraying the group
>reveal is kind of half-assed, people think she may be doing it to pull a double cross on them
>even if she doesn't villain group is interested in sucking the MC's dick which reinforces her waifu position with some yandere traits.

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>Gryffindoor: The main character and friends
>Slytherin: The bullies
>Ravenclaw: Sometimes bullies towards a side character
>Hufflepuff:
There I fixed it

She sounds like they took Jeanne Alter from Fate Grand Order and turned her into a Slytherin girl.

>Xenophilius Lovegood
I was going to make some zyklon B garrison reference but jesus christ his name is literally alien lover love good

The fuck are you talking about, it's always Hufflepuff or Slytherin

She's basically if Draco was a girl but much more annoying

how can some mobile game waifu generate such great fan art

>Books portray Ravenclaws as asshole bullies most of the time
>master date-rape teacher was a Ravenclaw
>first villain in the series who brought wizard hitler to the school was a ravenclaw

Wait, you can date her if your character is a boy? I made a girl characters because the girls looked cute but all of the boys looked like soiboys

What did JK mean by this?

I believe you can date anyone regardless of gender.

Yet like magic, I fuck uo everything I do.
TA DAAA

Miracle of the universe.

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You don't believe in anything, you will fall for anything.

Intellectuals are evil, obviously.

Harry is cunning, determined, ambitious & a good leader. All Slytherin qualities. He is also shown to be a good liar & manipulator many times. The Parselmouth thing helps, too.

One of my favorite scenes in the book is during the Pensieve flashback between Slughorn & Handsome Teenage Boy Voldemort where Harry is secretly admiring Voldy's manipulation skills.

After all this time?

>Everybody who's not the main cast is a bully
So at best she writes like Stephen King

Sounds kino

DON'T YOU FUCKING SUMMON HIM HERE

Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>So at best she writes like Stephen King
I wish
>No hermione X whole DA orgy to prepare them to fight the big bad
How did Stephen not only get away with it but also become such a popular reddit icon. Don't they read his books?

为什么“巫师”不将自己从电影专营权历史上最愚蠢的专营权中剔除出来? 认真地,男孩巫师和他从霍格沃茨学院的朋友们在与各种恶棍战斗时的每一集都与其他人没有区别。 除了令人沮丧的影像外,该系列的唯一一致性就是缺乏刺激感和对特效的无效使用,所有这些都使魔术变得不可思议,使动作显得惰性。

当罗琳否决了斯皮尔伯格执导系列剧的想法时,也许死定了。 她确保该系列永远不会被误认为对任何人都意味着任何意义的艺术品-只是对她的书来说可笑的交叉促销。 哈利·波特 哈利・波特 系列可能是反基督教的,也可能不是反基督教的,但肯定是反詹姆斯·邦德 占士邦 系列,拒绝了奇观,美丽和兴奋。 没有人愿意面对这一事实。 现在,值得庆幸的是,他们不再需要这样做。

>至少-虽然书很好

“不!”

写作是可怕的。 这本书太可怕了。 在我阅读时,我注意到角色每次散步时,作者都写道该角色“伸了个懒腰”。

每当重复该短语时,我便开始在信封的背面进行标记。 我只在信封上打了几十遍才停下来。 我太不可思议了。 罗琳的思想受到陈词滥调和死隐喻的支配,以至于她没有别的写作风格。 后来,我读到了同一位斯蒂芬·金(Stephen King)对《哈利·波特 哈利・波特》所做的奢华而充满爱意的评论。 他写道:“如果这些孩子在11或12岁时读哈利·波特,那么他们长大后会继续阅读斯蒂芬·金。” 他说的很对。 他并不讽刺。 实际上,当您阅读《哈利·波特》时,您会接受阅读斯蒂芬·金的训练。

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Said it a dozen times, & I will say it again: the next HP villain's origin story should be being one of the kids who didn't get candy on the Hogwarts Express because of Harry & Ron.

Polyjuice is fucking weird, remember this shit?

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kek

You're a talentless hack, Steve

Would you?

The main cast are also bullies tho. Hermione and Ginny literally constantly degrade Fleur and Ginny even calls her a cow. Ginny and Hermione also both initially bully/tease Luna. Fred and George bully Ron relentlessly and even killed his pet when he was young and gave him a life long fear of spiders as well.

Not Hufflepuff eh? Better be one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously,each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

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Fuck no.

Does she have multiple booba?

highly underrated

Not to mention how James and Sirius constantly bully Snape and almost get him killed by sending him to a werewolf

Rowling is a hack, if the horcrux was inside of him, he absolutely should've been in Slytherin.

>you took the lot that day Potter, try taking the lot after what I have prepared for you, you will never stretch your legs again

That was just a bit of banter retard, non-Anglo's shouldn't consume Anglo media

In fairness, he almost certainly was a colossal prick back then too

What does the hat do for the rest of the year when he's not sorting?

He would've been if he hadn't asked not to be

"No!"

He sleeps in dumbledore's room

>arguably the most evil person in the series was a gryffindor
Dumbledore?

How is knowingly sending a student to a dangerous werewolf to get killed just banter? Ffs James had to rescue him at the last moment to save face. Even Dumbledore acknowledges what they did was bad

The sorting hat most asks the wearer for it's preferred house

It's a fucking joke cunt, stop taking shit so seriousluy

Stiff upper lip lad

Sod off ya dog cunt they didn't mean it

>Dragons, soul sucking monsters, banshees, werewolves, crossbreeding between humans and giants, invisible capes with so much more to discover, all exist in this world. But Luna is considered a schizo for believing in electic pixies and invisible horses?

LOCH NESS GHOUL A ZOMBIE WITHOUT CONSCIOUSNESS QUESTION WHAT DO THESE THINGS ALL HAVE IN COMMON?

Cope lol

I need a fanfic rec lads, I've been searching for something new to read for 2 days and I can't find anything that catches my interests. My turnoffs aren't even that controversial but it seems everything I start skimming through violates one or more of them:

>no crossovers
>must be set at Hogwarts at least primarily and focus on Harry
>no genderbending or fag shit
>no retard pairings like Draco/Hermione

My immortal

Isn't one of Harry Potter's sons canonically a Slytherin? Or is that just fan fiction?

You can't pull oput the old "Cope LOL" when you're getting upset about the lads havin' a bit of a laugh about setting you up in the werewolf house

now that I think about it, it is never explained how Lily fell in love with James

Just use A03