I have a problem. I got good advice from some friends and family, but I figured I’d drop my issue here, and see what kind of advice you fags might give.
>be me, late 30’s >dating a girl for over a year now. >I got 2 kids, she’s got 1. >Everything is going great. >Texting each other constantly about how much we love one another. >Go on vacations together. >We enjoy the same movies, the same TV shows. >We both enjoy learning and discussing science and history >We both have the same type of humor. >Sex is amazing. >About 3 weeks ago she up and gives me the cold shoulder. >I ask her what’s up, she said “she needed space”, literally out of nowhere. >Says it has nothing to do with me. >Says it’s stress due to the isolation caused by the pandemic, and especially issues with her kid. >Her kid is in his early teens, and has serious issues. >The kid is high functioning autistic, and suffers from schizophrenia. >He’s very argumentative, all the time, and just has it rough in general. He means well. He just struggles with reality. >She doesn’t text me anymore. But won’t break up with me. >She’s incredibly distant. It’s a side of her I’ve never experienced. >When I try to talk to her about how this damaging our relationship, she calls me selfish, and says I’m making it about me. >I tell her I’m hurt and confused by all this, and that I’m thinking of breaking up with her. >That was no doubt wrong of me. >She says she doesn’t want to break up, but now she’s really distant, and pissed.
My question is, should I just let this ride? Should I hang in there until she comes back around? Also, am I reading too much into this? Any advice would be appreciated, and I’m sure at times humorous.
Are you close with her son at all? Share any hobbies or interests with him? Maybe try to connect, and make life easier for her? I don't know dude. Did something happen? Just seems strange for her to drastically change her behaviour like that. Thinking about it, probably the best thing you can do is to tell her that you're there for her if she needs you and to tell her to take space if she needs it. I don't think you're wrong for being hurt and confused by this. But, assuming that she's being honest with you, it has nothing to do with you. So, don't take it personally.
Leo Parker
Having a kid with problems doesn't mean you can just cold shoulder your monogamous partner indefinitely with no reassurance. I'd also like to hear her side if this conflict. Saying you could stand ti break up with her could be received badly.
Matthew Hill
I am close to her son. We have a lot in common. We like the same movies, as in we’re both major SW & LoTR fans, along with the MCU. We also play chess together. He struggles to get along with people, but gets along with me very well. He’s can be very disrespectful, due to his issues, but treats me very respectfully. Also, I genuinely love the kid. He’s get some serious problems, but he can’t help it. To quote her, “he thinks the sun shines out of your ass”, and then she’d laugh.
The only thing I can think of is Christmas. She came to stay with me because I told her family wasn’t coming around, and she was really worried about COVID. She has severe asthma. Anyways, I live in a small town next to family, and a bunch showed up in invited, not wearing masks, and being drunken bafoons. She was pretty pissed about that one, especially since I let people stay. But after a couple weeks everything was fine again between us. Other than that, I can think of nothing.
Yeah. I shouldn’t have said that. I spoke out of emotion instead of logic. Major mistake I think.
Carson Johnson
>I spoke out of emotion instead of logic. Major mistake I think. Don't beat yourself up too much OP. You don't want to necessarily ignore your emotions outright and you sounded like you were being honest about your feelings to her, if a bit harsh. Given the circumstance its understandable, but showing her more patience would've allowed you to share them less threateningly. I can only imagine her problems and she must be going through a lot, but bottling up her problems away from you isn't going to help either.
If you want to keep this thing going I'd apologize for how you expressed yourself and try to get her to understand it would help you if she expressed herself too.
Jaxson King
I did that. I apologized profusely. She said that was was really angry, but didn’t want to break up, but she still has to think about things, and she wants her space for now. I should probably mention she’s a hardcore introvert who doesn’t really have a lot of friends, and tends to shut herself off from people a lot, and I am not. I’m a hardcore extrovert with more solid friends than I got fingers and toes. So this is new ground for me, i.e., I’m not used to dating someone like her.
Levi Rodriguez
>I did that. I apologized profusely Then you've done all you can for now OP. Putting any more energy into the problem would most likely just turn destructive. For now just trust that she'll figure out how to respond and try to take your mind off of it all.
I have a very extroverted friend who is constantly in battle with his wife because he doesn't understand how to approach her (she seems to only have a couple of friends and he has a lot btw). He has this tendency to constantly try to approach her to make up when she's mad and it just makes the matter worse every time.
Isaac Davis
>He has this tendency to constantly try to approach her to make up when she's mad and it just makes the matter worse every time.
Good point, user. She got mad at over something trivial once. I forget what it was. Anyways, she told me to stop trying to make her feel like she has to get over it, and to just let her bad mad, or I’ll make it worse. I actually forgot all about that until now.
Also, sorry for the bad grammar and typos. I’m typing fast on my phone.
Brandon Jackson
Its all good OP. From what you've told us it sounds like she appreciates you. Introverts tend to move quickly through their reflection and contemplation so if your patient you'll likely get some good news. Good luck.
Ryder Perez
I hope so. I also appreciate the advice.
Jace Myers
Are those arms feeling up the weed astronaut or are they part of the uniform?
Jordan Price
>dating a single mother with chads schitzo son he dumped in her womb ya fucked up
David White
Her ex is no Chad. He’s a struggling junkie that can’t even keep a job, or girl. As for the kid, he may have issues, but he means well. He didn’t ask to be born fucked up.
David Brown
Leave her. It’s not worth it bro. Her son is a schizophrenic, do you really want to deal with that shit? She looks like she has major issues too, she doesn’t care about your wellbeing. Break it off
Nathan Rodriguez
It's not you she is prob just suffering mental illness herself now. IV seen it happen perfectly normal people flip the switch. Could be anything from depression to the development of schizophrenia (could be genetic)
Easton Howard
This, she’s probably schizo too, get out while you can op
Lincoln Reyes
Suffering from depression, most definitely. She might have some other issues. But she’s not a schizo. Lol
Justin Fisher
You’ve probably just left the honeymoon phase. Just recognize that this is who she really is. Don’t dream about how it was when you first met. Ask yourself if you are staying because of who you thought she was. If you are, I would re-evaluate the relationship
Jonathan Hill
So what you're saying is that she's not only a single mother, but she's so good at picking quality men that she let a piece of shit junkie cum in her?
Damn you picked a winner dude
Elijah Campbell
They were high school sweet hearts. He didn’t start out that way. It progressed over a few years, and once she realized he wasn’t getting better she left him.
Elijah Bailey
Here's a hypothetical question: Your ladyfriend and your child are drowning. Which do you save?
It is no rejection of you for her to remember where her first loyalty and commitment lies (and will forever lie). Your role is to let her know that you are there, waiting for her to achieve enough control over that part of her life to be able to rediscover you.
