I've been having a lot of trouble with online dating. I get a decent amount of matches as a man, and some girls even message me first. I make an effort to always message on the same day or like within the hour if possible. sometimes its just hard to answer fast I work a night shift some days, im in school, and it can just be really tricky.
But almost all of these women ghost me or stop responding, I know you're supposed to ask them out within a day or so and I usually do if its going well. But for nearly all these women I barely get through two or so messages. I just don't get why this is going on? Some of these women have literally matched with me 3 times, from me remaking my profile and from them remaking theirs, but when I ask them out or try to have a conversation they stop responding. How do you explain this?
So then should I stop online dating? I've been at this for like 3 years with a really low rate of physical irl dates, but the thing is dating has always been extremely hard for me. I've never had a real gf, I'm in my mid 20s, I'm in a stem field with virtually no women, and I do online classes. Really not sure how to solve this one other than wait until I'm literally over thirty.
Any idea what I should do? stop online dating? move somewhere else? just wait?
Dating Advice
This is the sad reality of online dating. Don't put in so much effort into responding quickly. Post profile for us to rate.
Bump user, i would also like to know this
When you have a good conversation going with someone on Tinder or whatever app you're using and they just stop responding randomly, it's very important that you don't overthink or double-text after it happens. The best thing you can do for yourself is just to unmatch, but the best explanation I can give you is that they have simply found someone else who they find to be more attractive or more interesting than you. The odds of them eventually coming back to the conversation are unlikely, but I've seen it happen. Also, don't feel like you have to respond the very same day or within the hour, most women expect men to do that. After all, as humans, we want what we can't have. Think about it, if you matched with someone and they didn't message you first, especially since guys are the ones to message first, your first response would be to look at their profile a bunch and see why they aren't responding. Then maybe you find them more attractive because they don't seem to want you.
>I get a decent amount of matches as a man, and some girls even message me first
That's a lot more than a lot of men can say, so don't get discouraged.
Im not really comfortable posting it here but i have shown it to a couple of people including a woman. They didnt seem to think it was that bad. I try to keep it minimal with just my interest.
>This is the sad reality of online dating.
But my rate of irl dates is so low, should i just give up on it? I got like 10-11 matches in a week on bumble and they all just stop talking to me after one or two messages.
so why do they do this? Are they overwhelmed? are they just keeping me as a second option?
Can you post some examples, user?
yea sure, ill post some of those
>I can give you is that they have simply found someone else who they find to be more attractive or more interesting than you.
yea but then why match with me three times? some of these women are on here like YEARS. I dated this one girl who told me she wanted me to wait a year before she decided who was the best "match" for her. And that was two years ago
Honestly, women just like to keep their options open, especially these crazy women who have been using Tinder for years. I've matched with women who openly display "tinder veteran" in their bios like a badge of honor. I don't really get their logic either, frankly. Why start swiping and inevitably matching with people if you're already pursuing something worthwhile? Women can be stupid
2nd example