The Feels Bar is open. Comment anything that is bothering you

my nephew has an old ass ipad and its broken. I've been trying to fix it all day to no avail. Itunes has had it on 'Preparing iPad for restore' for the past 4 hours. I feel so bad for him, he's 7 years old, and with lockdown all he really does is play Roblox or Minecraft on his iPad. I really really hope I can fix it. If I can't figure out how to, I'll probably have to buy him a new one.

His mother, my half-sister, is 37 years old, a single mother who hasn't held down a job in 10+ years, her parents still pay for her apartment, she abuses Xanax, and smokes a pack of cigarettes a day. She doesn't have the money to buy him one, and If she did she'd probably just spend it on cigarettes, unfortunately.

Yeah, I'm ranting but overall, I just feel ridiculously bad for the kid. When I was a child, whenever my laptop or Nintendo DS weren't working, I'd have a legit mental breakdown. It's something I relate to and really empathize with.

Very cute used to have a husky as a kid they are nice. Intressting mix.

He was a Shih Tzu mix. He was amazing, i raised him as a pup and being their whole life then instantly gone just hits me hard.. He never shit or pissed in the house. Never bit anyone unless you gave him a reason to.. He hated showers. God im tearing up just writing this. But i try to think of the good times. Heres my fav pic of him i took a month before leaving me..

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Need to taper down on the booze only 6 beers today, please.

My condolences to you and your friend's family. It's days like today scattered among the rest.

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I like to write random stories that sound like anime concepts sometimes but I can never complete an idea because I am a shitty writer.Today, I wasted time coming up with story lines and character arcs in my head but trashed the entire idea.

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Sadest thing about dogs they die to fucking fast. My family dog has cancer again, shes only 7.

I can talk to people normally when I was in HS and college but I dont have anyone to talk too outside school or work, I don't have any friends, and I'm scared I'll be like this for the rest of my life.

If I still feel like this when I turn 40 i'm literally moving to Thailand. There I shall earn my white money remotely in my harem of recently legal hookers

That is very unfortunate. I'm sure it will start working soon. I wish I could help, but I have no experience with iPads.

I dunno. It's just like, we talked all the time and I just didn't hear from him for a couple days, and then his sister told me he was dead.
It's just so fucking lame. Everything's just temporary and anytime I feel like things are gonna be OK, somebody I know dies or I end up couch surfing homeless again.

Don't give up. Creativity is a very useful trait to have. Practice makes perfect.

Youre an amazing uncle. He will definitely remember you trying to help him. I can only imagine his shitty situation and how his ipad is his escape from it all. Maybe but him a ps4? Theyre much cheaper now

I feel so goddamn lonely. I used to have my friends but they have all moved away and gotten married. I'm the only loser who never got the girl and found a career. I feel like a failure, I'm just going through the motions at this point.

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Getting a career won't change anything, you'll just become a slave to the 9-5

Rip your friend user. That fucking sucks. We'll see him on the other side

Indeed we will.
How are you doing, user?

I know, but my friends all seem so happy starting thier family's and making something of themselves.

I doubt you will end up like that for life. You could do a sport or activity that has other people involved and meet people through there. There's also sites like meetup.com/ where you can find socialising events near you.

>62397193
That's my story for what it's worth. I'm feels-posting right with you bro

im this guy it literally does nothing, women don't date you for your job. it's literally a societal lie since they entered the work force.

good evening. I've just been sad lately, dunno why. so much has been on my mind.

You're making sense about women and dating. The world is wack

That's all right. It's quite normal to be overwhelmed about things. I'm sure you will find the light at the end of the tunnel sooner or later.

women are wack

thanks man, I hope I can too

Now that I have a stable career, I've been putting myself out in the dating game. No luck so far, but I feel good that I'm actually trying.

I haven't slept in 28 hours and I'm currently experiencing insomnia
I need to be up in 7 hours

I somewhat agree, women are strange but to a certain extent they are just people. They just seem difficult to talk to.

yup, I even spent years in the gym as I bought into muscles attract girls.

the truth is you have to get lucky being in the right place at the right time, or move to a poverty ridden country where daughters are still married off for money. there is nothing else.

Good for you user, keep your chin up.

That is good that you are trying. Dating can be a slow process. That is very good to know that you have a stable career. Keep going.

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I started university and I'm trying to make new friends, but I can feel I'm the least important one in the group. If I'm there it's ok for them, if I'm not nobody is gonna call me too come, and I can feel people feel uncomfortable around me, there is always a bit of embarrassment and it makes me hella depressed

i hope you find someone user. good luck dude.

the kitchen is a fucking mess, it's 4am and I have to clean it now

Possibly, but my two childhood friends married girls in their church so I think they might be on to something.

I feel like that falls under right place and right time. Joining communities will do that, man I hope i'm not single for much longer. I have everything else.

You should still go to the gym for overall good health. I know a lad who works out and does it for himself because it's what makes him happy. You could become a personal trainer and help a lot of people out.

yeah thought about hannging myslef last night and felt relief

I just think like I've given up since summer.
I stopped attending classes midway through the semester and literally just skipped on finals.
I've done nothing but sleep for 12 hours and shitpost the other 12 for entire months.
I don't have the will to do anything anymore, I just get those vague 'needs' occasionally. I need to go out with friends I never had. I need to lose my virginity. I need someone to talk to.
I just don't think I can take much more of this.

Honestly I make really good money as a software developer.

The gym helps massively with my mental health but it's been closed all year.

Only thing is i'm in an office all day with older men, the days are basic

Fuck user, do you have anyone irl who can bail you out? It sounds like you're heading down a dark path. It can take some help if you don't want to walk that path to conclusion

Communities are very good for meeting people. I know a couple of people who also met their special someone at church communities. You should want to take your time on dating to find that person you really connect with.

My life is falling apart, give me a good ol jack
my fiance is no longer my fiance
my family still holds their trust in me but its limited
and ive been abused more this week than even when i was with my ex.
im thinking of ending it, but im still playing factorio to cope.

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He ignored me today. I guess he probably wont ever speak to me again.

That's true, I guess It doesn't hurt to have something to believe in either

I understand what you mean. It was like that for me on my first year. I particularly remember this one time when they were talking about what 'roles' each of the group has and at one point one of the guys goes 'what about user?' and the other guy goes 'user just.. is.'
Everyone laughs, haha.
A month or so later they called me to come over less and less and I didn't want to beg. I haven't really had a friend since.
I hope it turns out better for you, user.

That's good to know. Are you thinking about becoming a software engineer? I feel like that would be a comfy job to have.

True mate, I am actually a Christian, I might have to do this when Covid is over. Reconnect with my faith, feels like I got nothing else

Added a girl in the ideal partner thread and she ghosted me after I told her my height. Feels bad

So....how do you know when you stop being friends with somebody?? Like, i had this awesome group of friends before covid, but know, well i havent talked to them for months. Im hoping thats its just the rona getting in the way, but i also fear that they all forgot about me. Which would render me friendless, again. Funny that, as soon as i manage to cling on to a group of people, this fucking virus ruined everything. Im in uni, btw, which makes this evem more pathetic. Oh god, all i want is some friends!!! Is that too much to ask for??. Barman, ill have a shot of vodka. You know what? Leave the bottle.
Btw, thanks for opening up the bar. I used to do it, but im just too depressed/lazy to do it nowadays

Always working on new stacks to increase my net worth. It is comfy yes, you listen to music all day and write code.

But it comes with it's own mental challenges being shut away as a code monkey.

Honestly, if they've gone months without reaching out to you, they probably didn't see you as close as you did to them.

I don't really have anyone. The only people I actually talk to irl are my parents, and I keep telling them everything's alright on my end so they're not worried.
Even if I told them, I can't imagine they could do something to help.
I get what you mean. If I had a friend, all this would be over. He'd take me out and we'd have fun at parties or whatever, he'd introduce me to girls, we'd help eachother at studying, he'd give me a reason not to stay in bed all day.
But who the fuck would want to be my friend. What do I have to offer anyone?

Don't think like that. I'm sure you will be contacted by him in the near future. You shouldn't just jump to the worse conclusion.

Maybe church is the way to go. I could use some purpose in life. Better to go back to my catholic roots then drift around out here feels-posting till I hero

i have peter pan syndrome, i never wanna grow up, frying my brain with drugs and delusions, pretty much what chrish chan is doing with the different dimentsion stuff but with access to ket, weed and psychedelics.

I was talking to a girl that checks all my boxes for what I want in a partner, but she stopped talking to me mid convo. It's 3 am where she lives so I hope she just fell asleep and didn't ghost me. Pray for me, robots

>Better to go back to my catholic roots then drift around out here feels-posting till I hero

Damn that hits hard with me too, maybe I should also

Family is everything, I'm positive your parents would try and help you if they knew how bad things can get. Girls aren't everything, they won't make you fulfilled.

Not the person you are responding to, but I feel like I have everything but someone to share love and experience with and it's crushing.

My first love replaced me within 3 months and I have had nothing good for 6 years since

COVID or no COVID, I want to travel. Live life, have adventures in foreign countries, meet people, make memories, get stories.
Only problem is that I'm a friendless loser. The idea of just going to some city and walking around alone seems depressing.
I know that there are people gifted enough to make friends wherever they go. But it's completely opaque to me. How do you have fun while traveling alone? Meet people in hostels? In bars? But going to bars alone is pathetic, isn't it? Clubs? Same thing. Facebook groups? I'd rather not sell my soul to Zuck.

She most likely just fell asleep. You will be fine, user.

She's getting married and moving away.
I'll never see her again. I'll never hug her again. I'll never get to see that smile. I'll never get to look into those eyes. I won't even know when she passes until I go to look her up one day and find her obituary.

All because you were scared. Are you happy now?

Keep your hopes up user. She probably just fell asleep, and if she didn't and is ghosting you then you're probably just too good for her

You could go on traveling tours and meet people through there.

That's tough bro, I don't have all the answers. All I know is a woman never fixed my internal issues. She's only a distraction from what's eating you up inside

I don't think It's weird to go to the bar alone. I was planning on traveling alone and looking for cute girls in bars around the world. You can also set tinder and other apps when you get there and tell the locals that you're visiting. There's girls who will hang out with you if you buy them lunch

Youre probably right, but its hard to come to terms with the truth. Oh well, back to being a complete social outcast, i guess

Thanks, robots. Going to stop worrying about it for tonight.

Don't end it, user. I believe you will find a new partner if you still want to look for one. Until then, you could focus on building more trust with your family. I hope you will figure things out.

>COVID or no COVID, I want to travel. Live life, have adventures in foreign countries, meet people, make memories, get stories.
>Only problem is that I'm a friendless loser. The idea of just going to some city and walking around alone seems depressing.
I feel the same way, but I also dont have alot of money to go to begin to travel to begin with, and I dont want to leech off my parents

Honestly turning 30 soon and having a career, solid male social circle to drink and game with, there's not much more to western life without that future projection of meeting your biological drive.

Just gonna travel when I can and continue with hobbies,
Not looking for an answer but anyone reading this should understand setting these imaginary benchmarks when you are young can sometimes lead to unfullfilled expectations.

I've completely and totally given up fighting my eating disorder. I'm just letting it take me over entirely because I literally have no other way to cope.

I'm addicted to caffiene pills and my doctor says if I keep this up I could seriously hurt my heart, possibly have a heart attack in the years going forward. I'll be up for like 20 hours with no food for a few days then fall asleep for a whole day. As of now, no one has suspected anything.

I want to ask for help but I can't do it. I hate smiling and saying everything is ok when it couldn't be less true.

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i keep mixxing my antidepressants and alchohol... nothing numbs the pain like completely blacking out and waking up on the floor. i woke up this morning to a letter that i wrote myself last night (while i was blackout drunk). the letter outlined about how nobody really cares right now, along with other drunk ramblings.

i just wish i could go back in time and make genuine friends, im still so young but i spent all my early years of hs trying to be popular and join the "cool" group. when i actually got in, i realized that it wasn't genuine, and the people who had become my closest friends, knew a fake version of me... almost like selling my soul

i want friends who really care about me and vice versa, not how many followers i have on instagram, or the amount of chicks we can get with.

it felt good in the moment, but it's all crashing down now. i left my girlfriend because i couldnt stop getting high. i stopped hanging out with everyone entirely, and i regret it constantly. i feel like im trapped in limbo, and the only thing that makes me feel better is drugs + alcohol.

it hurts the most because of all the other problems in my life right now i feel like this one is my fault.

on a better note, bartender, i've been talking to this girl i really enjoy... i think.

sometimes i wonder if i only like her because she flirts with me, not because i actually enjoy her company. maybe she only enjoys my looks and doesn't want me to open up, idk.

sorry for rambling, just a lost teenage guy talking to a bunch of other lost guys.

>30 year old boomer
>talking to some girl who is a 6/10, but definitely has aspergers or something
>whatever, the number one thing i have wanted since i was a child was a wife
>she mentions she has a tattoo

Instantly dropped. Why the fuck is it impossible to find any woman who hasn't gotten a tattoo these days? Is it really so much to ask for?

I haven't talked to a real person in 4 months, haven't left the apartment in about a month. I'm just numb, not depressed just bored honestly, want to die but not from melancholy I just don't really care for anything. Panic attacks are getting more frequent, but I don't even know what I'm anxious about, I just am.

lol, are you me? There's not a day that goes by where I am not painfully aware of my singleness. If I knew I would never find a wife, I would honestly kill myself immediately.

Have you considered talking about it with family or going to AA? It might be helpful. Use the fact that you are still young as encouragement to become better. I believe things will work out for you if you try.

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Too many expectations to live up to. On one hand I appreciate the fact they have such high hopes for me but on the other when I mess up or deviate from the plan then Im commuting the second holocaust. I just wanna be left the fuck alone lol.

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Panic attacks are very hard on the mind. You can try going outside and get some vitamin D, you might feel better from it. That's what helps me.

I had two great-uncles who died unmarried and childless.
When I was at one of their funerals 2 years ago this whole idea that there's someone for everyone re-affirmed the bullshit we are told everyday, made me realise I have to be aware of it else time will do nothing for me.

Stuck in a loop for the past five years or something. Heading nowhere, wageslaving my life away, drinking after work to cope. Plans never work out. I feel tired constantly, even during my leave not only didn't I go anywhere on a vacation (covid, duh), I have basically just spent both weeks of my leave sleeping, playing vidya and generally doing fuck-all. I didn't get any relief out of it and returned to work just as exhausted as I was.
I've lost all my friends and acquaintances, they have simply forgotten about me. My closest friend is busy with work so we don't see each other often anymore like we used to.
I don't care about relationships, I don't want a gf or bf since I don't have energy or time to spend with them. My only hope of breaking this circle is keeping delayed every half a year or so. Tensions inside the country are on the rise, as well as everywhere else. Everyone is suddenly on the verge of hysteria, everyone is offended by everything. I've never really been bothered about the future and the possibility of our government basically turning the country into a police state but it's now possible to be fined for posting an offensive meme and I just feel uneasy about rollercoaster of incoming laws and punishments these fucks have in store for us.

I just don't know what to do. I want to leave the country but I'm not welcome everywhere else. My plans can't even start properly and I don't know if I will be able to escape before we clse the borders and shut ourselves from the rest of the world. I'm tired of propaganda. I'm tired of zombie patriots around me that still dwell on the oh so proud memory of WWII and are just simply oblivious to every assfuck each new law brings to the table. Prices on general goods are climbing up while salary stays the same.

I'm just so tired and so afraid of the future. I don't want to an hero and under no circumstances would I do this, so no easy way out.

im really scared about telling my family. things aren't going good at home and it'd destroy my mother.

my uncle goes to AA, but i dont know how i would be able to sign up without going through my family.

i believe i have the power to fix things on my own right now, but i have nothing driving me to make change. something about my life has been hollow and fundementally broken and i don't know how to fill that hole...

im open to advice though, if you're out of highschool and wish you'd have done something different or maybe worked through something similar. im just lost

I miss my old friend group. We did a lot for a while. After college, we just drifted apart

In one year I lost myself to a major depression, my father to cancer and both of my cats. In that order.

And I'm not coping very well. Technically I am coping since I keep up appearances and work, but I am just mentally, emotionally and cognetively exhausted. Crushed. Most of the time I'm just numb or anhedonic and I dont want to wake up anymore. I'm just done with this this. There's nothing left for me here. I'm over the hill, stuck in the past, no future and I have nothing to look forward to, even if I did I dont even care.

I'm just sitting around for the next thing to happen. Mom becoming an alcoholic, my brother dying in a car crash or me getting lung cancer. It just would be fitting.

I cant even mourn my father. I cant release the emotions I know is there. It's just festering like every other loss in my life untill it explodes like an overwound jack in the box 5 years down the line. Another septic grief that will throw me into another mental breakdown at some point.

I take the train to work and every day I just stare at the platform opposite of mine and wonder if I have it in me just to take those few steps. I know I wont but I am just so fucking tired. I just want to sleep and wake up feeling like it's is going to work out, but it wont. You just accept it and cope and drink and drug yourself. Thats your life now. Half the man I used to be. Half the life I used to have.

thanks for the tip user, will try that.

I feel like my life peaked when I was 20 years old. Ever since then things have slowed down immensely. My friends have moved away, started working fulltime, died, or just changed. I used to spend time with my favorite people every day and life was a constant mystery filled with unexpected events. Crazy stuff was always happening and it gave me so many memories. These days, I'm lucky if I get to do something exciting once a month, and it always has to be planned days in advance. There's no more spontaneity. Somehow crazy shit just stopped happening, and everyone I used to go on adventures with just aren't there anymore. Adulthood feels like a prison and I'm not ready for it. I want to be 20 again and go on some wacky adventure.

Feeling eh for the past couple days OP. I'm not necessarily happy with my life rn, but I am not discontent with what I have. I can't tell if I feel lost or if I'm spread myself out too thinly.

This is super lame but I think atm I kind've just want a hug. :c

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I've been on meds since mid june because i tried to an hero with sleeping pills. Now i've been diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and i'm taking a shitload of pills (SSRI's, antipsychotics, ADHD pills, weight management pills), in the end i'm taking 8 different pills per day. It's quite expensive, gladly my parents support me in this. I'm looking for a job, i can distract myself and get some stuff.

Well, it completely depends on how your family will take it. I would think they would see that even though what you are doing upsets them, they should still be happy that you are at least admitting to the problem and trying to get better. Support can really help with situations like these. You could talk to your uncle about it if you feel like he would be a better option. He might be able to help you talk about it to your family. As for what will drive you to change, it's completely up to you. You have to find what you want to do that will suit you in the long run.

a man who has nothing to live for is a free man. take a trip, do something that would inspire that world and make you proud... something that would make your father proud.

i believe you'll do great things user, it can only go up from here.

I keep thinking about how fucked we're all going to be in the next 50 years because of climate change. I'm in college but what does it matter? Why even try to have a career if we're facing societal collapse in the near future? why should I do anything? we're screwed and nothing matters anymore

I'll take a coke, trying to reduce my alcohol intake

I really can't stand that I can't talk properly. I have an really monotone voice and speak with the most basic vocabulary at a slow pace that makes me sound legit retarded

I can't give you any advice on that topic but I'm really sorry for your loss. I want to say that I understand how you must feel right now but truthfully I don't. Just try to remember that it's only natural of life to come and go. Life is full of loss but that doesn't mean that it's over. Something new will come, new flowers will blossom. Your father has given you this life for you to blossom after him as his offspring. I don't know your father or your relationship with him but I do believe that if he truly cared about you he wouldn't want you to keep grieving and suffering any longer.

Try to live for him, try to live for your cats, try to get therapy for depression. It will all be fine one day. Not great, perhaps, but better than this.

We might find a way to fix it or at least slow the process down. We are actually already doing things to slow it down. You only have one life and you should make the best of it. Worrying about the worse case scenario won't do you any good.

constntly tired and slightly confused desu

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I've tried talking to some of the girls on Dab Forums and I always feel like I'm dragging them through the conversation. I don't know if I suck or they suck at conversation

>climate change is the biggest thing on this guys mind

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i study AI, i'm a grad student.

Very understandable. Airfare aside, if you're willing to stay in a hostel, that'll probably cut your costs down by a lot.
Those might be a good option, although they're probably rather pricey. Thanks for the tip, though -- it's definitely something to keep in mind.
Correction: it would be weird for me to go to the bar alone. I don't have the charisma to walk into a bar, where everyone is with groups of friends, and just insert myself into others' conversations. Maybe I'm falling for an Dab Forums demoralization psyop, but I've heard nothing but bad things about it.
You seem like you're confident enough to pull it off, though. Good luck and godspeed on your worldwide fucktour.

worried about my dad, he just got heating and ac replaced, had to fix my mom's shitty highlander and he called me once when i was driving to come over and help him move some bricks because of a smell under the house, which turned out to be flooded with piss and shit. he looked more dead and done with everything than i have ever seen him. the amount of money he's has to shill out is eating up from his retirement and i don't have much to give him as i'm in uni. i feel like if i don't give him something i'm a shit son even if there's nothing i can give him.

i was feeling suicidal before the coof hit, then my mental health appointments got cancelled and i've spent a year and a half stuck inside with suicidal thoughts, so yeah it's going great

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thank you user, i will consider AA and probably talk to my uncle if things stay bad

I just turned 18 and I don't wanna be an adult. Anons who are in their 20s, what is it like? How do you cope?

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At random points, force yourself to do 25 push-ups.
Submerge yourself in music.
Make sure you have enough vitamin D3.

Read more books my dude

idk, i just turned 20

College route sucks ass, state is still on full lockdown and my freshman year has been depressing.

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I'm losing the one thing that gave my life meaning for more than 4 years. I just take no joy in it anymore. I'm hoping its just a creative dip, I can't lose this.

I might have taken someone for granted and it might be a bit too late now.

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I'm having an extreme anxiety attack.

I have severe OCD. I had to use my bathroom sink for something. When I walked in, I had an urge to touch the toilet so that I'd have to go through a full hours-long OCD handwashing session. I'm not sure that I didn't do it. Right now I'm thinking that my hands are dirty and I'm ruining everything I'm touching forever, and that I'll always be a disgusting loser and there's no fixing it. I want to fucking die. I've failed and I want to fucking die. I've just eaten six Reese's cups in about five minutes in an attempt to forget. I can't forget. The thoughts aren't going away. I failed at life, I failed at everything. I just didn't know what to fucking do. I didn't know what to do. I want to die. I want to die I want to die I want to die i want to fucking die

Move to Detroit. Start a punk rock band. Thrash until you break something. Eat chips and hummus.

I feel like Ive finally entered my death spiral. Ive always felt restless but now im reaching my breaking point. Old barriers, once my last bastion of functionality, dissolve and the consequences of my past inactions close in on me. It has become unbearable and there is no way out for me except suicide, for which I am too cowardly.

I never had a girlfriend and I want that experience so badly. You know it's bad when your parents ask if you're a priest.

The world rewards the cruel. It is the sadists that are having threesomes with 10/10 blonde Russian sisters every weekend. It's the sociopaths that get rich enough to buy anything the want.

There is no incentive for me to work and change my life around. I'll just be outclassed by the alphas that have no soul or compassion.

I've stopped caring about everything in life, and have decided to just sit around be a NEET while I wait for death to take me. My parents are pushing for me to get a job and advance my life but I don't care enough to do anything, nor see any reason to.

I've entered a stage of emotional muteness. As I've grown older, I havent become more wise. I would actually consider my ten year old self a much more respectable and down to earth person than I am now. The level of coping with the actual helleorld we live in has left me essentially incapable of feeling strong emotion towards anything. Everybody wants to deliver a solution. Everybody has their answer. And the insanity of this kind of thinking has sent my ability to consciously relate to the world overboard. It's just pathetic. I cant really function in a society that is so stratified. It's so uniquely terrifying that I dont even feel it. And it's almost an exercise of vanity anytime I try to feel emotional pain. Its sacreliguous to a degree. I cant imagine what another ten, twenty, thirty years of living in a society where I cannot even think freely. Or the consequences of living in a society where I am so detached from the person I was... it's almost hard to get into. The way that. It seems. The violence. Ever so pervasive. Desensitizes you to everything. And whoever.. the person I may have been.. or would become.. is like a stranger to me. It becomes more and more obtusely difficult and expensive to even really touch down. And when I do, its often just a relentless assualt on my life itself. It seems we really live in dystopic times. Among people.. merely feigning as humans. And there is no escape.

I feel like I really need to talk to someone in person. Like I need to have someone hold me right now and tell me it's okay. But I don't have anyone. I'm alone. I have to sit here alone and suffer. I'm a failure. I'm a complete failure. I'm a failure and a loser and I deserve to suffer, but I just don't know what the hell else I was supposed to do. I went to doctors, I exercised, I worked, I went to school, I did everything you're supposed to do and it didn't help me, and I got OCD, and the OCD kept getting worse, and now it's so bad that my life has become unbearable and I just want to lay down and fucking die. Dear God, please, someone help me, please.

I have no musical talent whatsoever, nor do I have the resources or mental capability to move.

I don't know if I'm depressed or not. I've never been to a doctor in my life. From what I understand about depression it's more like severe apathy and a lack of emotional stimuli. I'm almost the exact opposite of that. I'm constantly feeling intense, extreme emotions at all times. I'm always either extremely violently angry or bawling my eyes out. I don't have a "neutral".

Read into bipolarism?

Yea. I mean you dont need talent to do punk that's the point. But besides that. Poverty will get to you. It's easy to swim yourself in circles. Things just. Become like that. And its very painful. Wish I had something else I could say. Smoke a doobie maybe. Try something new. Push yourself into situations that are dangerous and unsafe until you stop having this rudimentary obsession. Take up boxing or something. Really lay one in. Murder your next door neighbor. Hide the body. Keep it secret, ten, maybe twenty years. Than eventually when you come out about it everyone will call you crazy and nobody will believe you.

I can't socialise with people unless I'm drunk. When uni was open I used to carry a flask and drink in the mornings when I had easy classess so that I could talk to people, and it worked really well and they even asked me to go out with them a few times. But I always chickened out. 23yo khv. I think after coronavirus is over and I get a job, I'll be the one of these people who just goes to bars every day because I can't communicate with people without alcohol. I feel this desperate need to play catch-up since every woman my age has been with 30+ men already, and I feel this deep resentment for it. I think it will go away once I also have sex with this many people. So yeah, after I move out, get a job, I'll just sit in bars all the time hoping to get lucky, and once I get lucky 30 times I will think of serious dating. Because as I am now I simply am mad at women too much to have actual relationship.

Try driving your car into a fucking orphanage. Or some shit. Burn down a building. Commit some arson here and there. You wont want to drink anymore. It will pale in comparison to the thrill of senseless violence when it takes you over.

what is the diagnosis for someone that understands they live a lifestyle that comes with an increased risk of depression yet chooses not to change anything?
My life is good, but I am unhappy. I have no reason to be unhappy, but I do not think I have really been content for years. Over a decade even.
So what gives? Do I just not want to be happy?
I do not want to die anymore, so that seems like an improvement. Yet I still feel worthless and I cannot understand why people would think any differently.

i have been awake for 12 hours yet have only done 20 minutes of studying

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I just turned 18 a few weeks back.Been lurking here since 14 but haven't posted before

Right now I kinda know what I wanna do with my life (career, etc.) and am currently in college but I'm still scared of the future and being a fuckup. I don't wanna end up a loser like my father who had so much potential but just ended up wasting it all cause he had no ambition.

I already have plans to get my driving license/buy a car, build credit, what degree I'm pursuing, getting /fit/, etc. But I still am afraid of fucking up and working in retail the rest of my life / being a loser. I have more of a loose framework of what I wanna do versus actually having solid plans atm.

Any older anons have any advice? How to deal with the anxiety? How to not end up up a loser?

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Just don't really know where to go from here. Time is just passing, and fast. I'm doing better in one respect but I feel like I've thrown the brakes on everything else in order for that growth to happen. I think I'll just have to put everything behind me soon. While I wish I could strengthen the connection once more, It's good that the source of my kindling has quickly grown distant, that'll make it easier, but I worry without their inspiration I will return to my previous ways as if they'd never appeared as my guiding light. Ideally I would do it for me, but I've never been a good enough reason. I need to change that line of thinking because it leads to problems like this to begin with. If I don't matter, my purpose is tied to someone else. Once again, it's proved unhealthy, but enlightening. I don't regret experiencing that wake up call. I thrive off of the recollection that I have a heart.

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I think that... its actually... totally completely pointless in every respect to analyze someones psychology. That it is this really profane idealistic ideological solution to the complete breakdown of society by stitching up peoples minds in new ways so they can adapt and cope with their environment. I mean not to disparage psychoanalysis. It's just a method of self regulation by the social system. Stop asking yourself "what's wrong with me?" Start asking "whats wrong with THEM"

>How to not end up up a loser?
if you don't already have ambition at 18 then its probably already over anyway
t. 23

im sorry i never answered.
i dont think itll be good. my life is hell now cause of thursday
fuck me

I wish I was never born. I wish I was never fucking born. I wish I could just lay down and fucking die. I can't take this anymore. I can't take any more pain. Please just let it end. Please make it stop. Please make it stop. MAKE IT STOP.

Antidepressants don't work. They can't change my circumstances. They can't give me back what I've lost. They can't make me young again. They can't give me what I missed out on. They can't fix me. It's all over but I'm too much of a fucking coward to just get it over with and kill myself already dear god make it stop

Not really much to say. Been abused all my life by family and "friends". I just want to feel the tender touch of a woman. I want a beautiful girl to help cauterize the wounds in my soul.

>You need to help yourself before you can get help from others

Not true. Love is random, some people get it and some don't. Effort and "working hard" doesn't really mean anything. It's all about how socially attractive you are.

It will never end. They've selected you. As their next.. creature. To be toyed with. There is no escape now. You will live this existence. Of wretched humiliation. You will slowly.. forget what life is like. You will than die this way. And you will be forgotten in time. And you wont even have the capacity to regret. Nigh understand, the life that was passed to you against your will. You are a part of this biological machine. Gods cruel science experiment. And you and your soul will be disposed of. Just as everyone elses. Just as everyone else who comes and goes in the passing of each second.

Love is just compatibility. Really. The odds of you ever being compatible with someone. Differ from person to person. If you're straight.. odds increase... the more of a fag u are the more it decreases. Regardless, there is no guarantee of someone ever being compatible with anyone in any circumstances. Or anyone even being slightly entitled to the things they want or need in any circumstance. Regardless of how good of a person you are, how hard you work, your morals and virtues. It's a lie really, a myth that merit presupposes reward. Billions and billions of people have came and went under the auspices of this illusion of safety or comfort that life provides. You could go any second. For any reason. There isn't any actual law or order that pervades real life beyond your own delusions and lies you tell yourself. You could be whoever you are, die alone, unfulfilled, suffering for the life of another, or the life of nobody, suffering endlessly for no reason. Because this is just how life is. And nothing guarantees anything.

It's so frustrating when normies try to say "you just need to work on yourself and you'll get a girl", meanwhile they're standing on an entire mountain of corpses from people that thought just like them.

It is really. When people start laying blame. As if.. if only you aced that test you would be in school. If only you went to school you would have that job. If only you went in for the kiss you would have the girl. If only you were the way I think you should be your life would be better. It's just a way of projecting your own desires, successes, or failures onto someone else. Life doesnt work that way. People say these things because they want to feel right. They want to feel like they have the answers. Nobody has the answers. They want to feel safe and secure in the way they perceive the world so they project that onto other people. And maybe they do it out of selflessness, maybe they don't. Humans are really... on the atomic scale...if not smaller.. in the grand scheme of the universe. But everyone feels like everything you do say and think is do or die. It's really not. Shit just happens. Its unexplainable. Telling stories is a human pastime. There isn't any right or wrong way of thinking or doing. Everyone sticks to what they know. And it makes them feel better. Its self aggrandizing. Just how things are. You spend your whole life just doing what someone else tells you too and one day its just like sike, I really have no idea what I'm doing, you just wasted your fucking life on my nonsense bullshit reality. Than you die. And it's probably basically over at that point. And all the little shit that happened. It didnt matter. And it wont ever matter.

Age, it hurts.

I think it's just flat out sociopathy. Humans don't know how to empathize anymore, so they project their life experiences to everyone around them.

Friend had a threesome with two hot bisexual sisters last night. I should be happy for him, he's my friend, but I only feel intense rage and jealousy. Why the fuck couldn't it have been me?

I am so depressed that Family Matters only had 9 seasons... WHY DID IT HAVE TO END IT WAS THE ONLY THING IN MY LIFE THAT MADE ME HAPPY

You can pin anything as whatever you want. In the end it doesnt really matter. Yea. Some people probably have trouble with empathy. That could be autism as much as it is sociopathy. People live. And they die. They kill. They are killed. Shit just happens. With no real common element dragging the things together. One day you're throwing a baby off the cliff the next day you're raping some Persian. Shit just happens like that. And it doesn't matter. Moralizing is petty. Just a way of securing power. You can be the best person and live the worst life. You can be the worst person and live the best life. No matter what, your decisions will always haunt you. Theres no escaping that.

It's just absurd to claim anyone has absolute moral ethical knowledge that there is always some righteous indignation towards acting a certain way because it's not true. You do things than you rationalize them afterwards either to yourself or someone else. That's all it is, all it ever was, all it will ever be. The sooner you figure this out the sooner you stop giving a shit about what other people think.

AS DAYYYYYYYSSSS GOOO BYYYYYYYYY

ITS THE BIGGER LOVE OF THE FAMILY

I eavesdropped on my Mum talking to one of her friends on the phone today and I've never been more ashamed
>convinced I'm genuinely autistic since my twin bro is ADHD and I'm an extremely introverted agoraphobic mess
>discussing with Dad whether I should go on neetbux but she's scared that if they put me on it I'll be a NEET forever
>admitted that I'm a drain on the family since she bullshitted that I help around the house to save face (hurts even more because she's got MS and now has boob cancer) and I'm too autistic to help
>ashamed that I'm 20 years old and living like I have a major mental disability
>reminded me that I used to be smart as fuck but now I can't even do basic math without getting bored out of my mind and frustrated
>wants to organize an intervention with a psychologist to get me officially diagnosed with something and to try and find a way to stop me from being a pathetic lazy NEET
Fuck bros

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If ur crippled bro ur crippled... not much 2 be ashamed of my mans

Howmst you supposed to get ur hustle on with no money if u cant even make money because ur 2 crippled SMh 2+2=4

Someone broke into my apartment last week. They broke the lock so badly that the dead bolt was bent and the maintenance guy had to smash it with a hammer to replace the lock. Police won't do anything because there's no evidence to go on as to who did it.

I'm 99% sure I know who did it, but without any evidence I'm just sitting here waiting for it to happen again. It feels awful.

I just want the sleeping pills to knock me out already

I'm hoping I'll feel different after sleeping

I've managed to stop drinking for about a week, which is a long time for me considering I've been drinking a lot every day for the last decade or so. I don't really feel much better, and it's also forcing me to confront the reason why I drank so much in the first place. Which was to cope with the fact that I have no future and nothing makes me happy. Now I'm sober and miserable instead of drunk and a little numbed, but I really feel like I should still try to avoid booze. I guess there really is no point to anything. Drink, don't drink, live, kill myself, it's all basically the same.

Why can't you ask for help? Also, dont give up user

I have a drinking problem too user. I keep falling off the wagon pretty bad and when I had a job last year before I got covid I would drink at work and scream at people. It was funny till I brought that habit to my friend circle now I don't have friends. My perspective is if you have anybody in your life at all that matters you should talk about it. Or do the therapist findom routine and just pay somebody to tell you whats wrong just cause they have a degree. I dunno man I am gonna go drive to get some bourbon and drink on these pills I am stealing from my little brother cheers.

I wish there was something to look forward to, but they ruined everything I liked

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I need to turn in a research paper next week and I haven't even started, keep getting distracted like right now.
What's worse is that a week from when this paper is due ANOTHER research paper is due, so I can't even relax after turning it in since I have to start the next one and repeat the same annoying process

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I instantly ruined what was given to me, I pretend everything is going well but it's obvious to me that it is all going downhill, and I will disappoint them greatly, miracles do not happen and no amount of hard work will fix things

Have to go somewhere in about 2 hours and I haven't slept. Have no friends. Can't make friends. Wish I wasn't the sort of person who yearns for love or friendship. I wish my brain was fried and I couldn't feel anything.

Let's all do our best, bros.

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Sleep while you can and get some caffeine in your system later. G'luck my dude.

Sounds like depression, once you recover things should go back to normal

>mistaken a platonic interaction/being nice for interest/affection
>again
does it get better? that's like the third time this year

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Force yourself to phase out the rituals that are causing you anxiety right now. The fact that you "failed" is actually the first step towards doing this. Redefine the criteria for clean so that your rituals are replaced, this should feel like a reset. I have OCD, and I used to take really long showers, and because I'm a shower procrastinator it would make me feel really bad and I'd end up going two weeks at a time without showering, but I've gradually gone through a series of shifts to the point where I now see showers as a way to not be stinky rather than primarily for hygiene, which is actually true, because skin bacteria are not really harmful unless you go a duper long time without showering. I got cognitive behavioural therapy for a short while that taught me how to be comfortable breaking rituals, so I'd recommend the same to you if that that sounds useful.

Thanks user. Hope your day is good too.

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Thanks. I can't sleep either, and I'm sure Im going to wake up late and waste the last few hours of the day again. Haha, love this life :^)

thanks advice user, i'm already submerging myself in music and taking vitamin D.

The part that sucks is I was going to the gym, had made those appointments, was getting out of the house regularly and started to feel good just before this all started. It's just unlucky timing but it feels like a cosmic twist of the knife.

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I fell asleep. If you're still here, thanks. I'm in therapy for depression (currently in remission despite how pessimistic I sound) and I have alot of friends and family, but this year has just broken me and I have trouble piecing me and my life back together. Especially with this covid situation, all I can do is work and sit at home staring into a computer and let my mind wander. That's probably a big part of my current problem, nothing to do but think.

i have never received any real love and the fading illusion of that memory is the only thing that keeps me from blowing my head off. everything feels cold and meaningless without someone to love and receive love from. i already tried and deconstructed everything else that usually provides some form of meaning. this is all i have left. but im a worthless hikki neet. i dont know how to get out of this rut. i yearn to struggle and build "us" a better life but i have nothing to show, theres no incentive for anyone to love me. sometimes i even find myself asking if theres anyone i could love, being the misanthrope and all. anyway. i could work a job if i wasnt so fucking burnt out and chronically depressed. is that even what girls look for? is that what i want to be loved for? on one hand i have this stupid medial impression that love is romantic and all, then theres my pragmatist-realist traditionalist weltanschauung. but neither of those aspects are prevalent in these times. i want responsiiblity, i want meaning, please

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oh and i forgot to mention that sometimes all my insecurities are making me question if its even ethical at all to share my burden with someone else, even though the very fact that im thinking so deeply about it probably just makes me more empathetical ironically. why cant incels get it in their heads that no one deserves anything...

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I'm too ashamed. I should be better than this. I am so embarrassed.

> i want responsiiblity, i want meaning, please
I think you would benefit to work with something where you'll see the direct results of your work. Any sort of carpentry, construction etc. Something where at the end of the day, you'll see that you've progressed from A to B and you can stand back and look at it and say to yourself "I helped make this, this will be here long after I am dead and gone"

It's hard to see any purpose as a retail worker, office rat, administrative work because your labour disappears into the ether of paper work and capitalism. You're merely passing on the work, not doing it.

As for asking for help but feeling you're a burden. Yes, you should not burden people who all ready have enough of it, but unless they're in middle of a personal crisis, grief or something else, most people have it in them to give out a helping hand, even if it's just listening or giving you words of encouragement. And most people like to help, it makes them feel usefull. You're feelings are not yours alone, majority of people will or have felt what you feel now. Useless, forgotten, rejected, alone.

In my personal experience, the only way to build proper human connection is sharing not what makes us perfect, but what makes us human. And that means our grief and sadness as well as our hopes and dreams no matter how silly or mundane they are.

>I don't really feel much better
it takes around a month for your brain to get used to sobriety and stops making you physically ill.
i bet your sleep is fucked too. its expected and it really doesn't help.
after a month of being sober your sleep will slowly return to normal, practicing sleep hygiene helps with this. you will also feel less anhedonia. it comes and goes but overall it goes. the tricky part here is not letting a bad day fuck everything up and not romanticizing your drinking days. this is why AA works, if your week sucks you should talk about it and it gets a little easier because your emotions feel checked and validated so your mind lets them pass. they also make you think and talk about the fucked up shit you've done for alcohol or under influence, saying it out loud really reveal the insanity of it all to yourself.
i've been sober for six months not and at this point sobriety is a nobrainer. no matter how shit everything gets abusing substances always somehow manage to make it worse. more problems is the last thing either of us need right now.

>i've been sober for six months not
i have no idea where that ''not'' came from.

Think of it like this, if your old dog never died you would have never got the chance to meet your new dog.

My best years were 20-21, so don't get anxious yet. When people start working fulltime jobs and moving away, that's when it's over. You still have a few good years left.

Yeah, you never realize until it's a bit too late. It's the worst. I'd give anything for a rewind button.

It's not too late unless you're dead.

It came from the shot of whiskey you just drank, you fuckin liar

I'm probably moving out this year to go to university if it's not online, not that I really have a social life. I have like two real life friends who like me are too busy with cegep to do anything, on top of covid, and we mostly just talk about homework. I don't care so much about having fun right now, I just hope that I accomplish some worthwhile things, like becomming a mathematician, and having children and raising them to be great people. Being a lonely, autistic, adult virgin living through muh unprecedented times hurts, but there are things I may regret not doing one day that would hurt 100 times more.

You never just stop talking to friends. If you were actually friends you would be talking atleast every other day.

I have 'friends' but we only talk when I initiate, kind of like this user so I stopped initiating and I haven't heard from anyone for a long time. Gives you some perspective.

Now my company is whoever my brother calls to our apartment.

>I stopped initiating and I haven't heard from anyone for a long time
i did this too, same happened.
its not like i cut ties, i just stopped asking people to hang out literally every day and everyone was fine with it.
by now i've realized how i merited such a response but i really wish i didn't have to learn it that way.

Yeah, shit is sad. Some of them even go:
>hey where have you been
>haven't heard from you in months

If you called me you'd know.

I'm a neet. I don't have a single irl friend and because of past experiences I'm too scared to be able to go to school. I try to escape reality by consuming stories out of books, games or music but the more stories I read the more depressed I get and the problems and fears of the characters and world I love become mine. If I read a sad story I can't get my mind out of it for months and it drags me down but it's still better to living my own life. I'm just too scared and I don't see any way of that changing for me in the future.

why cant you go back to school?

I used to get bullied nearly my entire time I went to school. I tried to go back but I get so bad panic attacks and bad thoughts over it that I would go to self-harm which I want to stay away from.

damn bro.
that sucks man

I just cut off my two only friends. One best friend the other just a "good" friend, shit was toxic and I would constantly do shit for them, with nothing in return. Had enough and decided to cut them off. Now I kinda don't have friends, and it sucks, because I can never find people who are like minded, except on here. But I've read that making friends on here kind of sucks cause every one is toxic or complete autists... idk what to do...

You're there for the rest of that dog life. I'm sure your dog would rather die than lose you.

I'm a failed normie. A decade ago, I had friends, I went out, I could get a girl's attention rather easily (but couldn't keep it), and I still genuinely loved and cared about my life.

Now I'm completely alone, drunk in the middle of the day, bullshitting my way through an utterly worthless degree with no motivation whatsoever. My job prospects are horrible, my relationship prospects are non-existent, my dreams are dead, and my life is effectively finished. I will achieve wizardry in August of this year. All I can hope for is to either find the right combination of drugs to numb me out for the remainder of my life, or just bring it to an early close.

I feel that, have always felt that way. I just want to have my friend group of rejects again like I did in high-school. All my old HS frens who were rejects moved away in the middle of High School. Which sucked. But now I'm 22 and lost my only two friends ..

What makes someone a failed normie? Wouldn't you have to try to be a normie at some point. Like I am well adjusted to society, but I also was a "spy" for a bit. So I feel like it was fake it till you make it for me.
I made it, then decided I'd rather be a burnt out stoner so I quit.

I never got a girl and all my "normie" friends hated me before I left w/e I lived at the time.