I used to think that people who cheated on their partners were losers. Now I am one of them

I used to think that people who cheated on their partners were losers. Now I am one of them.

I have a very nice life, my lifelong partner and my three children adore me, and the feeling is mutual. The problem is that I'm not really happy and I have a desire for other people. I feel stuck. I've talked to my boyfriend about it but he doesn't want me to leave, he panics and gets angry. It's killing me.

I have spent years questioning these emotions and pushing away advances. One day, I had a revelation: what I was feeling was not going to go away, so why bother? I might as well come clean

Recently, I had two sentimental adventures and I kissed the people in question, without sleeping with them. Maybe it will come. Most of the time, I don't blame myself, which is surprising because I thought it would be the case.

Here is my dilemma: am I leaving everything for a passion and an intense connivance that I cannot experience at home, at the risk of destroying the world of my spouse, my children and our family? Or do I stay, like a beautiful doll in a clean environment, with a well hidden secret? The second solution does not make everyone suffer.

What should I do?

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>What should I do?
Do what you will. It's in your genes. People who cheat do so because they are biologically incapable of monogamy. To put it bluntly, you're an r-selected slut. You should have never married or had kids. You're a pest on society.

New things are always exciting, that's just how vertebrates work. Fucking vertebrates.

On one hand, the cycle is just going to repeat if you go for it. Your children lose their mother, your husband loses their faith in humanity/women, you gain back a bit of your freedom in exchange for security or whatever. On the other hand, you spend the rest of your finite and singular life being miserable wondering about what could have been while lying to yourself, your husband, and your children about being happy, probably taking it out on them, and dying unfulfilled.

It doesn't really matter, does it.

You're literally a loser, and you will use that as a justification.
You're a narcissist, "Oh my kids adore me", yeah no sweetie they think mommy's a whore. You've obviously done some intense mental gymnastics to justify this thought but here's the long and short.
Your husband, being of sound mind, does not want you sleeping about with other men (Which is absolutely the standard). He is angry because his WIFE is saying "I want to sleep around". Are you mad? Who wouldnt be upset by that thought.
You've been naval gazing too long, wake the fuck up and actually reassess your life

you arent married so its not cheating on a spouse. i wonder, are all 3 children from one man

Wanting to hurt those who have done the most for you in life is just part of being a woman. I say go for it, hopefully your partner kills you or you leave the kids so he can raise them correctly without you in the picture.

>Wanting to hurt those who have done the most for you in life is just part of being a woman.
It's called Eve's Curse. Women are inherently evil depraved creatures.

This is the correct answer. It could also be mental illness, but either way your family is as good as ruined.

>we have 3 children
You fucked up. There is no way of resolving this now.

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As a male who cheats, let me give you my take.

Most people should not cheat. You let your emotions get the best of you. You are driven by emotions and you depend on the feeling of being desired to feel complete.

The problem with this is that you always end up creating this misanthropic environment that is not maintainable. Most likely than not what you will end up doing is neglecting your partner's needs and focus all your passion towards your new man. Your family breaks down and your child go through a traumatic event that could have been prevented if the other man was never in the picture.

Now my personal philosophy in cheating is to keep it a secret. I have admitted to myself that I just have this insatiable appetite for flesh, so I can never be a one-woman man, but I want the benefits of a stable family. That's why I cheat, but I make sure to only cheat with women that I know will not mess up my life. I also put forth safety nets to make sure the girl I'm cheating with has no chance to hurt my family.

Now after reading your entry, you just seem like you haven't really matured emotionally and looking for someone to complete you, but I can guarantee you that you (and I have broken up with adultery partners for this) you will eventually destroy your family and the guy you are cheating with because you are just going at it recklessly.

You have the illusion of two paths, but the truth is there is only one path for you. Again, coming from someone who has been cheating for quite a long time now.

>It's called Eve's Curse. Women are inherently evil depraved creatures.
Cheating is more entrenched in men than women. We are biologically wired to kill conquer and fuck. Women are biologically wired to be conquered by strong men. Current culture keeps both gender from fulfilling either of that and so it's left to our emotional intelligence to modulate these shortcoming in reality.