"Work on yourself and the girls will come automatically"

>there are still a lot of aspects which you have zero control over, e.g. height, dick size or face.
Sadness is less attractive than shortness.

Having muscles and low body fat, and dressing well, makes women 1000x more receptive. Pretending otherwise is a cope. I’m friends with a chad guy and it’s like shooting fish in a barrel for him.

i think it really only helps people that can't get girls because of shitty confidence/bad lifestyle etc. if you're somebody that isn't a 2/10 and just struggle with confidence i think "just work on yourself bro" increases your confidence/happiness and therefore it will translate into you attempting to get girls, if you try.

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Do both. Be happy and swole.

>What you're doing is curing yourself of an infectious disease, the infectious disease being a shitty self-hating mindset
How would you go about "curing" something like that? You can't just pretend to like yourself when you don't.

Absolutely not. You have to approach people/do online dating/expand your social group. If you do nothing, expect nothing. Don't end up like me.

>How would you go about "curing" something like that?
Firstly, stop feeling sad because of no gf, gfs are a fucking meme and that traps you in a self-hating mindset because you'll never get what you want.
Secondly, objectively evaluate which of your trait(s) are worthwhile and which are shit. For the shit ones, acknowledge they exist but focus on other things. For the worthwhile ones, appreciate them.
Thirdly, once you have a rational idea of what part(s) of you have value and worth, choose to believe in those parts, and feel good about yourself for having those parts.
Once you've developed a sense of self-worth, practice it. Constantly. Old habits are hard to break and you must constantly choose to think positive thoughts about yourself and feel positive emotions about yourself.
It'll take about 3 weeks to 2 months to break your old mental habits and re-train new ones, in this time you must be constantly using your willpower to choose the thoughts and emotions you'd prefer to have.
Once you've done that, you'll be used to having a positive mindset and it should reinforce itself. Keep practicing anyway though.

When people say this, they mean creating a better version of yourself and implementing it into social environments.

Like, do shit to build confidence / attractive send and take a step forward to put yourself out there. Confidence is an aura that women pick up on, just like insecurity.

Take two guys in a room full of women. One is confident, focused on himself and could really give a shit wether or not any of those women like him. The other is really insecure, out of touch with who he might be as a person and feels like he really wants their attention. The first guy wins every time.

A bit of both. If you are fat, needy and without skills people will not like you very much. If you work on yourself more and focus on others less they will like you better. But that doesn't mean that they will knock down your front door and show up in your room. You will still need to make contact.

Can't expect a 10/10 to walk up to you.

>You can't just pretend to like yourself when you don't.
Exactly, you do have to actually like yourself.
This is usually done by getting rid of all the excuses you have for NOT liking yourself. For example, 3dpd are a meme, and if you feel sad about 3dpd then you are stupid.
Some of those excuses will be rational, e.g. not liking yourself because you are lazy or stupid. For those ones, you must acknowledge that you have a flaw, but stop feeling so sad about the flaw since you can find other virtue elsewhere.
Most of these excuses will be irrational garbage caused by you getting emotionally hung up about shit that does not matter and which you should not care about.
Once you've managed to unfuck yourself and discard your excuses to be self-hating, you can deliberately practice liking yourself.
You can practice liking yourself even without dumping your baggage, but cognitive dissonance will bitchslap you.

>How do I practice liking yourself
Just fucking do it, shit for brains. Choose a positive thought and think it, choose a positive emotion and feel it. You have willpower, fucking use it.

>Just fucking do it
Well, that sounds flawed.
What am I supposed to do if every fiber of my being despises what I am? Do you really think that you can waltz in after a life of putting yourself down, and start believing otherwise out of the blue?

>Sadness is less attractive than shortness.
Sad but 6'4" guy would still easily steal your gf.

Then, dress well at least.

>What am I supposed to do if every fiber of my being despises what I am?
Disregard the irrational fibers, and for the rational ones acknowledge they exist but overrule them with the fibers of liking yourself.
>Do you really think that you can waltz in after a life of putting yourself down, and start believing otherwise out of the blue?
No, but the 2nd step was to evaluate which of your neuroses were irrational. Once you've done that, you can practice NOT doing the irrational ones since you'll know they're shit and you'll have the mental presence to say "Hey, this is dumb" and stop doing them if one starts up by accident.

The willpower deal with the mind is horseshit. Fix the state of the brain through improvements to lifestyle and therapy. Keep it chemically right as often as possible. It's like when you get a good workout in, there's a reward the brain gives for doing it. Got problems making you hate yourself? Fucking fix them.

And if your question was "If I have spent my entire life having irrational negative self-thoughts, do I just stop?"
Yes. Yes you do in fact use your willpower just fucking stop. Habits are hard to break but not impossible.
The hard part are the rational negative self-thoughts, for those you need to develop positive virtue elsewhere. That's tricky. that's what working on yourself is for.
But most of your negative emotions and negative thoughts are going to be irrational garbage that you can disregard.

For example, you did not "lose your chance" with a woman if she does not like you. That is stupid. Perhaps she doesn't like you because humans are capable of having emotions on their own and deciding for themselves what they like and dislike.
The disapproval of some random thot should also not affect you, because some random thot is not a valid goal in life. A worthwhile woman might be a valid goal, but the random thot is not her.
Your inability to secure a worthwhile partner may be a rational negative. But that should not torpedo your self-esteem, because you can be good at other things, such as videogames or shit-talking on Dab Forums, and you can be happy about those instead.

Maybe he could, but he won't. Because he's either depressed enough to not even try, or sad enough to emit negative vibes.

>6'4" guy would still easily steal your gf.
Lmao no he won't. For one she has a fetish for me being shorter than her, and for two she's attracted to my assertiveness.
Checkmate, lanklets.

>Fix the state of the brain through improvements to lifestyle and therapy.
That's worth doing too.
But if you only change your behavioural habits without your mental habits, you're going to be a healthy buff loser but you're still going to be a loser. You must also change your mental "lifestyle" too.
>Got problems making you hate yourself? Fucking fix them.
That's good advice in every circumstance.

>The first guy wins every time
*the taller, more attractive guy wins every time

Turn yourself into a chad
Then bee urself

Because all that shit shows a woman that you have values, and principles, and you value yourself in a high standard, by taking care of yourself, and accepting what you can'tcontrol. THAT'S what attracts women.