The Feels Bar is open. Comment anything that is bothering you

Panic attacks are very hard on the mind. You can try going outside and get some vitamin D, you might feel better from it. That's what helps me.

I had two great-uncles who died unmarried and childless.
When I was at one of their funerals 2 years ago this whole idea that there's someone for everyone re-affirmed the bullshit we are told everyday, made me realise I have to be aware of it else time will do nothing for me.

Stuck in a loop for the past five years or something. Heading nowhere, wageslaving my life away, drinking after work to cope. Plans never work out. I feel tired constantly, even during my leave not only didn't I go anywhere on a vacation (covid, duh), I have basically just spent both weeks of my leave sleeping, playing vidya and generally doing fuck-all. I didn't get any relief out of it and returned to work just as exhausted as I was.
I've lost all my friends and acquaintances, they have simply forgotten about me. My closest friend is busy with work so we don't see each other often anymore like we used to.
I don't care about relationships, I don't want a gf or bf since I don't have energy or time to spend with them. My only hope of breaking this circle is keeping delayed every half a year or so. Tensions inside the country are on the rise, as well as everywhere else. Everyone is suddenly on the verge of hysteria, everyone is offended by everything. I've never really been bothered about the future and the possibility of our government basically turning the country into a police state but it's now possible to be fined for posting an offensive meme and I just feel uneasy about rollercoaster of incoming laws and punishments these fucks have in store for us.

I just don't know what to do. I want to leave the country but I'm not welcome everywhere else. My plans can't even start properly and I don't know if I will be able to escape before we clse the borders and shut ourselves from the rest of the world. I'm tired of propaganda. I'm tired of zombie patriots around me that still dwell on the oh so proud memory of WWII and are just simply oblivious to every assfuck each new law brings to the table. Prices on general goods are climbing up while salary stays the same.

I'm just so tired and so afraid of the future. I don't want to an hero and under no circumstances would I do this, so no easy way out.

im really scared about telling my family. things aren't going good at home and it'd destroy my mother.

my uncle goes to AA, but i dont know how i would be able to sign up without going through my family.

i believe i have the power to fix things on my own right now, but i have nothing driving me to make change. something about my life has been hollow and fundementally broken and i don't know how to fill that hole...

im open to advice though, if you're out of highschool and wish you'd have done something different or maybe worked through something similar. im just lost

I miss my old friend group. We did a lot for a while. After college, we just drifted apart

In one year I lost myself to a major depression, my father to cancer and both of my cats. In that order.

And I'm not coping very well. Technically I am coping since I keep up appearances and work, but I am just mentally, emotionally and cognetively exhausted. Crushed. Most of the time I'm just numb or anhedonic and I dont want to wake up anymore. I'm just done with this this. There's nothing left for me here. I'm over the hill, stuck in the past, no future and I have nothing to look forward to, even if I did I dont even care.

I'm just sitting around for the next thing to happen. Mom becoming an alcoholic, my brother dying in a car crash or me getting lung cancer. It just would be fitting.

I cant even mourn my father. I cant release the emotions I know is there. It's just festering like every other loss in my life untill it explodes like an overwound jack in the box 5 years down the line. Another septic grief that will throw me into another mental breakdown at some point.

I take the train to work and every day I just stare at the platform opposite of mine and wonder if I have it in me just to take those few steps. I know I wont but I am just so fucking tired. I just want to sleep and wake up feeling like it's is going to work out, but it wont. You just accept it and cope and drink and drug yourself. Thats your life now. Half the man I used to be. Half the life I used to have.

thanks for the tip user, will try that.

I feel like my life peaked when I was 20 years old. Ever since then things have slowed down immensely. My friends have moved away, started working fulltime, died, or just changed. I used to spend time with my favorite people every day and life was a constant mystery filled with unexpected events. Crazy stuff was always happening and it gave me so many memories. These days, I'm lucky if I get to do something exciting once a month, and it always has to be planned days in advance. There's no more spontaneity. Somehow crazy shit just stopped happening, and everyone I used to go on adventures with just aren't there anymore. Adulthood feels like a prison and I'm not ready for it. I want to be 20 again and go on some wacky adventure.

Feeling eh for the past couple days OP. I'm not necessarily happy with my life rn, but I am not discontent with what I have. I can't tell if I feel lost or if I'm spread myself out too thinly.

This is super lame but I think atm I kind've just want a hug. :c

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I've been on meds since mid june because i tried to an hero with sleeping pills. Now i've been diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and i'm taking a shitload of pills (SSRI's, antipsychotics, ADHD pills, weight management pills), in the end i'm taking 8 different pills per day. It's quite expensive, gladly my parents support me in this. I'm looking for a job, i can distract myself and get some stuff.